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Elaine Chase, Emotional Hook Formula eBook .pdf



Nombre del archivo original: Elaine Chase, Emotional Hook Formula eBook.pdf
Título: Emotional Hook Formula™ PDF, eBook by Elaine Chase & Aaron Fox « ✔Truth & Facts ✔Real Results ✔Real Experiences ✔FAQ ~ ✘Reviews ✘Opinions ✘Scams

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1

Disclaimer:
This book is written for informational purposes only. The author has
made every effort to make sure the information is complete and
accurate. All attempts have been made to verify information at the
time of this publication and the authors do not assume any
responsibility for errors, omissions, or other interpretations of the
subject matter. The publisher and author shall have neither liability
nor responsibility to any person or entity with respect to any loss or
damage caused or alleged to be caused directly or indirectly by this
book.

2

Table Of Contents
Section 1 - Seldom-Known Secrets of the
Male Psyche: This is How Men Really
Think!............................................................................18
Section 2 - Powerful Emotional Triggers to
Entrance Any Man............................................................32
Section 3 - The Invisible Trap: How to Avoid
it Before it’s Too Late........................................................44
Section 4 - The Most Vital Key To Getting What
You Want Out Of A Relationship.........................................56
Section 5 - The Biggest Fear That Men Hide
From Women..................................................................72
Section 6 - Making a Reluctant Man
Commit..........................................................................83
Section 7 - How Women Accidentally Kill their
Relationships...................................................................97
Section 8 - How to Read A Man’s Mind and
Discover His True Intentions............................................110
Section 9 - How to Stop Ending up with
Losers..........................................................................122
Section 10 - Mastering the Art of
Suggestion....................................................................134
Section 11 - The Most Powerful Thing a
Woman Can Do to Create Conflict.....................................146

3

Section 12 - Deciphering His Hidden Messages
and Discovering The Truth...............................................155
Section 13 - Psychologically Training Your Man: Out
with the Bad, In with the Good........................................162
Section 14 - Discussing “Next Level” without
Freaking Him Out...........................................................173
Section 15- Finding “The One” – The Real
Secrets.........................................................................184
Section 16 - Empirically Understanding
Emotional Unavailability..................................................196
Section 17 - The “X-Factors” – The Most
Extremely Important Qualities Men Seek in
Women.........................................................................205
Section 18 - Breaking Down the Call Back........................218
Section 19 – Understanding His Main Role.......................227
Section 20 - The Most Dangerous Mistakes to
Make Around Men..........................................................235
Section 21 - “Break In Case of Breakup”..........................248
Section 22 - The Most Important Things to
Keep In Mind.................................................................259
Final Words – Applying What
You’ve Learned..............................................................283

4

Introduction
I’m just going to start things off with a little anecdote that you
may find relatable.
Once upon a time, like so many other times, a girl liked a guy.
She hadn’t just immediately fallen for him at first sight, but
eventually, there was no denying her very real feelings for him.
This is the kind of story that’s been reenacted in well over a
billion different settings, but ultimately, we observe the same
pattern of plot development in each one.
After a bit of time had passed, the girl’s attraction evolved into
something much more advanced than what it began as. It
began as puppy love, but with time, the attraction developed
into a powerful emotional impulse. Rather than just registering
as simple attraction, the feeling made the girl feel an impulse to
be with the young man.
Instead of just wanting to admire him, she slowly came to the
realization that she wants to be with him. She more frequently
visualized scenarios with the two of them together in ways
beyond physical engagement. She imagined scenarios that
indicate two people who have committed to a legitimate life
together.
As beautiful as her fantasies may have been, they were
accompanied by anxiety. She wondered, above all things,
whether or not he actually felt the same way.
She wondered if there was any chance that he may actually be
5

envisioning the same scenarios that keep her up at night. The
thought of him at once enlivened her spirits and swathed her in
the deepest type of dread.
The constant, dualistic sensations of giddiness and doubt shook
her constitution to the core and made her far less secure than
usual. Her everyday thoughts would be momentarily permeated
and colored by her feelings, temporarily sweeping her up and
taking her miles away without her needing to physically move
one muscle.
When she developed real frustration at not being able to know
how he felt about her, the words he actually spoke became
augmented with brand new type of pressure. The possible
windows into his consciousness tantalized her with the incentive
of solving that puzzle of his affections haunting her sleepless
nights.
Of course, the impact of her feelings didn’t render her
completely helpless to self-control. While she wanted nothing
more than to be one with him in a romantic sense, she still had
reservations about true physical consummation. Hearing, “You
are so beautiful” excited her, but his sexual boldness quickly
made her defensive.
When she showed resistance, he was stricken with a feeling of
conflict similar to what she was feeling before. With his sexual
advance repelled, he will wondered about her level of interest
while she questioned the depth of her willingness to continue
engaging him.
Every time she refused him, he would ignore her for several
days to follow. The mounting uncertainty from his lack of
contact with her would set the anxiousness off again, and she
would be driven to start rethinking her defense against his
6

advances.
Eventually, she let him have his way in the hopes that they
would grow closer.
Unfortunately for her, the move turned out to be anything but
what she had hoped for. Instead of growing closer together, she
found that giving into his sexual desires had really done nothing
to take their relationship out of limbo. She had hoped that
physical consummation had been a step forward, but it wasn’t a
step to anywhere.
It began to seem like time was slowing down, like each second
was squeezed at the head and stretched out like a piece of
taffy. Days transformed into weeks, and weeks matured into
months. She eventually had to take a step back and have the
melancholy realization that letting down here defenses had
been a useless move.
While it hadn’t been a forward move, it hadn’t been a lateral
move either; as a matter of fact, she was distressed to see that
it may have actually been more of a move backwards. She was
starting to feel as though he was actually acting even more like
a platonic friend than he ever had before.
Some people say that the opposite of love isn’t actually hatred
or anger, but total apathy. It would have been one thing if he
had cared enough to be offended at something she had said or
done, but it seemed as though he wouldn’t be affected much by
anything that he said at all.
The lack of emotional attachment honestly hurt her in a much
different way than an emotionally tumultuous falling-out. She
was overcome with a need for at least some kind of affirmation,
and so one day she decided to finally ask the serious question.
7

She called him up on the phone with bated breath and asked a
serious question.
She asked him, “So, what do you think about us? What are we
exactly?”
He was at a loss for an appropriate response. In all honesty, he
didn’t actually know what she was talking about.
She went on to express just how distraught she was at their
lack of communication. She said, “You never tell me how you
really feel towards me. You never talk about our relationship.” It
was as simple and raw as anything that she could say.
She thought that her question could serve as a kindle to more
intimate dialogue, but in response, he was as cold as ice. It was
as if she hadn’t asked him anything at all, and in all honesty,
part of her wondered if she even should have asked anything at
all.
With no more options left, she had no other measures than her
last resort. She steeled up her resolve and she finally confessed
her true, bottled-up feelings. She had been like a boiling kettle
with the lid on, and within seconds, she became a completely
open book.
She didn’t simply stop by telling him the true nature of her
feelings. She punctuated everything that she had revealed by
admitting that she wants nothing less than spending the rest of
her entire life with him. She could have stayed in the moment
between telling him and hearing his response forever, but
eventually, his response did come.
His response was that he was too busy with his career. He said,
8

“I don’t think this is the right time.”
She had finally gotten the closure that she had been seeking,
though it hadn’t been exactly what she was looking after. As a
matter of fact, the conclusive answer that he had given her
couldn’t have possibly been any further from what she had
been waiting for. Her boiling emotional frustration was replaced
with confusion.
Even though he had said that he was too busy, the way that he
had said it only served to raise even further questions. He had
given her a solid answer, but she didn’t have a complete idea of
exactly what had just happened. Once again, the days and
nights became colored by a nonstop flow of mental questions.
She wondered whether or not his true feelings for her were
actually being stifled by a repressed fear that kept him from
fully expressing them.
She wondered if the reason he had denied her was actually
because she asked him about it too early on, even though she’d
already been waiting for it at the same time.
She wondered if the true reason could actually be because he
simply wasn’t the kind of man who was really built for
commitment in the first place, and if she would have truly been
better off leaving well-enough alone.
Though she had gotten the answers to the questions that had
been tormenting her for so long, they were still driving her mad
without any relief. She found herself in the unenviable position
of needing more answers to clarify the answers that she already
had.

9

Even though she was still hurting for some legitimate answers
to her questions, there was still something that she was
absolutely sure of beyond any reasonable doubt in the world;
she wanted to be with this guy, and she wanted to be with him
badly.
It was the kind of affection so full of life that it actively affirms
its own existence when denied. Her feelings alone were
legitimate, but she couldn’t legitimately find it within her to
concede defeat. Instead of moving on, she came to the
conclusion that she simply hadn’t been trying hard enough.
Faced with the feeling that she just hadn’t put in enough effort,
she came to the conclusion that the next logical move could
only be to fully show him just how much he truly loved her. She
figured that the amount of affection he showed had to have a
positive relationship with her level of persistence.
Her uncertainty and anxiety was replaced with dogged
determination. Above all things, she was convinced that she
would have to express the full degree of her love until he finally
committed to her. She didn’t expect it to happen overnight, but
no one could tell her that he wouldn’t eventually reciprocate her
passions.
Unfortunately, she would not have her way.
Her new level of motivation was matched equally by the shock
of what happened next. Unthinkably, he became even colder
and less responsive than ever. He wasn’t even putting in the
effort to be a platonic friend to her anymore. She called and
filled up his answering machine relentlessly, but he was as
unreachable as the Milky Way.
It wasn’t as though he’d never he’d never ignored her before,
10

but this time, it seemed as though he was truly in it for the long
haul. It seemed as though she was going to have to start
dealing with the possibility that he would never willingly come
contact with her again.
It was weeks before she could actually reach him once again,
but just as before, the answer she got was anything but
satisfying. The only thing that she got from him was yet
another stonewalling statement about his lack of time. It had
been weeks without contact, and his explanation was that he’d
be too busy for the next month.
Try as she might to get answers out of him that were more
satisfying, he just wasn’t giving her any leeway. Before she
could even properly learn the details of what was keeping him
so busy, he told her that he was needed elsewhere and hung up
on her.
She was left hanging on the phone like a lost, battered, starving
traveler hanging onto the edge of a cliff. Whether or not you’ve
ever been in a situation similar to this one, you’ve probably got
a pretty solid idea of the sad tale’s conclusion. She would
receive no form of happy ending to her struggles.
The culmination of all these stories of unrequited affection tend
to lead their protagonists to a collection of strikingly similar,
introspective questions:
Was it something that I said that drove them away?
Was it something that I did that I shouldn’t have done?
At what point did I go too far?

11

When did they start no longer wanting to see me?
Even though these questions have echoed throughout the
corridors of time in infinitum since the beginning of recorded
romance, the answer that many of the leading ladies in these
stories have come to, have not served as tools to solve the
issues and create answers.
Instead of finding a way to develop a logical answer to the
questions of where their romances went wrong, many women
have instead been forced to think:
“I guess this is just men are like.”
“Men only want one thing.“
“All men are complete jerks.”
“All men are users and abusers.”
“Men think that women only exist to be used”.
Well, first and foremost, let’s just set the record straight – lots
of men are legitimately unscrupulous, but not all men are jerks.
Not all men are only after sex. Some men, in all honesty, do
actually want something more than just one thing.
If it were true that all men were absolutely evil and
irredeemable, then there wouldn’t be any such thing as a
marriage or romance that doesn’t end in divorce or betrayal.
While the divorce rate may be what it is, there can be and are
many committed couples that have actually managed to make a
life with one another actually work.
12

In spite of the fact that there are many examples of positive
relationships, we cannot truly judge many women for being
driven to believe society is exclusively inhabited by men who
see them nothing more than disposable objects.
The picture of the man as an emotionless heartbreaker is
positively burned into the modern woman’s psyche from an
early age. The real issue isn’t truly that all men are out to make
women confounded and sad, but rather a lack of mutual
understanding. The real issue is that some women simply to not
get the truth of male thought.
Lots of women out there, right now, believe that all men desire
the same things that they do. Without legitimately investing
time into learning male thought patterns, however, these
women’s beliefs in what men want are largely unfounded.
Without sufficient effort put into learning, there can be no hope
of understanding.
There is absolutely no logic in repeating the exact same plan,
over again, while expecting a different result every time; that is
the true definition of insanity. Many women subject themselves
the same cycle of confusion and rejection without learning from
their mistakes, sometimes multiple times in the same calendar
year.
A lot of women are forced to realize the futility of their efforts
with a painful rejection, but occasionally, other women actually
do manage to acquire the relationships they were after with
men who emotionally neglected them before.
The fact that they got the relationship they sought out,
however, does not guarantee their happy ending. A relationship
does not transform an emotionally neglectful, inconsiderate
13

man into a paragon of affection of love.
These men will oftentimes be just as void of nurture as before,
and the relationship will exacerbate the issue by creating a
sense of expectation and trapping the woman into a trap of her
own feelings of obligation and false security.
A woman who has resigned to an abusive relationship has an
even worse lot than the women who simply get rejected and
are forced to move on. She is taken advantage of, lied to,
chronically unanswered, miserable, and yet unable to let go of
what she spent so many nights staying up at night hoping to
have.
One of the worst positions that a woman can put herself in is
one where she allows a terrible reality to masquerade as the
realization of her fantasy, giving her an almost masochistic
pattern of dependence on a person that hurts and distress her.
The answer to these gravely unfortunate circumstances is
simple: it’s just a matter of understanding. Women who
understand the ways that men think will be far less likely to
make things worse for themselves. Just one level gained in
understanding can open the door to emotional salvation and
romantic satisfaction.
The first step towards complete understanding isn’t always fun,
but it’s necessary. The first step to fully understanding anything
is disillusionment. You need to weed out the misunderstanding
before the full, enlightening understanding can have enough
room to flourish.
Simply put, you need to let go of what you think you know in
order to truly know.

14

The first thing you need to stop believing is that you can make
a man like you just by confessing your affection. You need to
separate yourself from the idea that, with enough persistence,
you can simply convince a man to like you more than he does
by not knowing when to stop.
Even if many people typecast men as being the more inherently
aggressive sex, no member of either gender is attracted to
ceaseless desperation. By simply pursuing and pursuing without
ever relenting, all you’re really going to is make the man care
for you less. He might be concerned for you, but concern is not
affection.
It may be hard for some to swallow, but if you relentlessly go
after someone who isn’t giving you the slightest sign that
they’re fully interested in starting something with you, then
you’re truly not all that much better than a man who doesn’t
bother to emotionally communicate. In both scenarios, there’s a
lack of consideration.
In this book, we’re going to thoroughly cover the process of
reaching a state where none of the aforementioned
circumstances ever have to happen to you again. By the end of
this book, if you are fully committed, you will be more wise and
empowered with relationship intuition than the majority of
society.
Before we really cut down to substantial stuff, however, you
must not go forth without being prepared to learn. Being
prepared to learn takes more than just wanting to learn
something brand new. If you really want to be prepared to
learn, you’ve got to see to it that your disbelief is suspended.
Some of these concepts may seem a bit unconventional at first
15

glance, but the fact that they aren’t well-known makes it a bit
easier to understand just why so many people struggle with
unrequited love in the first place.
Skepticism and overconfidence in what you believe you already
know will stifle the learning process and potentially cheat you
out of something great, so before moving forward, see to it that
you’re ready to take everything mentioned with an open mind.
Once you’re ready to mentally digest things that may at first
feel slightly alien to you, you’ll instantly be more prepared to
actually try them out. You may come across things you actually
do already know, but all the same, it is essential that you read
through everything as though you’re just hearing it for the very
first time.
Every section of this book serves as the bedrock for the next,
so do your best not to skip ahead to get this done faster. If you
want to share the rest of your life with someone, then the time
it will take to read through this book shouldn’t be all that
demanding in comparison!
Finally, you must be prepared to have every single thing you
learn be honestly practiced. The purpose of learning is to apply
your knowledge, so it’s imperative that you take the lessons
learned here as a call to action.
Doing things without knowing how is infinitely worse than
simply lacking the knowledge; the opposite, then, is infinitely
better. When you embrace a willingness to admit that you can
know more than you do, you free yourself from a trait that
handicaps far too many people and stunts their potential.
It isn’t weakness to admit that you can learn more; if anything,
it’s the first step to acquiring strength and happiness.
16

If you want to become a true master at all that is offered here,
keep a steady finger on that mental trigger that compels you to
enthusiastically act upon what you analyze. Let your actions be
in-sync with your understanding, and as your understanding
grows, so will the effectiveness of your actions.
Uninformed denial will bring you nothing, but informed action
will bring you everything. So, without further ado, let’s move to
the first section and start getting you properly informed.

17

Section 1 - Seldom-Known Secrets of the Male
Psyche: This is How Men Really Think!

This section goes out to every single woman who’s ever
confided in a friend that they just don’t “get” men. This is
dedicated to any woman who has ever said or maybe even just
thought to herself that understanding men is “impossible”.
This is for all of the women who have ever even thought that
learning how a man thinks is “too hard”.
Let me assure you of something: understanding how men think
is not as difficult as climbing Mount Everest. Understanding how
men think is not as difficult as completing a triathlon.
Understanding a man is highly likely to be less difficult than the
most difficult thing that you’ve ever had to do in your life.
Just because so many women constantly have problems with
the men in their lives doesn’t mean that understanding men is
necessarily hard; it just means that a lot of women haven’t yet
had the privilege of learning the easy steps to understanding
men better.
The key here isn’t necessarily to uncover some extremely
obscure secret about the male brain. The most important thing
to take away from this is the truth of how a man’s thought
process differs from a woman’s thought process.
Lots of people misunderstand the truth of communication and
compromise. While it’s helpful to find common ground that you
and your partner can use to relate to one another, what’s often
overlooked is the importance of establishing what isn’t held in
common and learning how to manage the differences instead of
18

denying them.
Learning the intrinsic emotional dissimilarities between you and
the man you’re interested in will make you far less susceptible
to becoming emotionally compromised when the two of you
aren’t communicating as effectively as you’d like. Where most
will be frustrated, you will instead have constructive
perspective.
Of course this isn’t to say that you and other women aren’t
already aware of some of the more easily observed differences,
but it’s not only the obvious differences that we’re looking to
focus on here. We want to know how the subtle differences
produce the dramatically different ways that men go about
doing things.
You may be aware of one or more things that we cover in
relation to the things that divide male and female thought
patterns, but when you’re finished reading through the section,
you’ll be better at seeing how these differences produce the
habits that drive us crazy and leave us confused.
You may have been in a situation like this before: you’re trying
to explain something to a man that really couldn’t be any
simpler, and yet try as you might, he just doesn’t seem to be
getting any closer to understanding you. It may have seemed
like you would have been better off trying to teach him the
grammar of a dead language.
Naturally, you’re frustrated at the end of the less-thansuccessful conversation. Even if he did put in some effort to
comprehend what you were telling him, chances are that he’s
not in the best mood when you’re overtly displeased at his lack
of full comprehension. The two of you are irritated and confused
with each other.
19

Now, imagine how much easier it would be if there were a way
that you could just have everything that you say be
automatically and instantly run through a filter that translates it
to “guy” before it hits his ears. You’d be able to say anything
you wanted, and he’d understand it due to hearing it in his own
language.
We presently lack the technology to have such a marvelous
thing mass-produced on the market, but believe it or not, we
don’t even need anything like that in the very first place. With
just a bit more insight into male psychology, you’ll have what
you need to effortlessly convert your words into an effective
man-brain-friendly design.
You may or may not have heard of a method that’s called
expedient means. Expedient means is a method that many
teachers utilize in order to better communicate more abstract
concepts to their students.
The method operates by using a language or approach that the
listener is familiar with in order to foster a more effective level
of communication.
You may not be trying to teach your man a complex algorithm,
but by learning the fundamental keystones of the male
psychological complex, you can be on your way to
communicating much more effectively. You won’t have to worry
as much about what you say being misinterpreted or blatantly
misunderstood.
The first thing that you need to understand is the main
cognitive divide between the intrinsic of males and females in
general:

20

Men are more prone to logical analyses and judgments
based rationale, whereas women possess much more
creative and emotional intuition.
In the simplest terms, a man is much more likely to approach
problems with a strictly logical frame of mind, while women are
far more likely to probe the emotional aspects.
We can observe how thoroughly this subtle but significant
difference in cognition permeates social interactions observed
between the genders on a daily basis. There are certainly
statistical outliers and anomalies to serve as exceptions, but we
cannot deny the historically observable dichotomy between the
cognition of the sexes.
Women are far more likely to share and discuss topics that
aren’t objectively present or urgent. The act of communication
itself serves as a medium through which women are able to
deepen the breadth of their emotional connections with one
another.
Because women are naturally endowed with a heightened level
of emotional intuition, they naturally ascribe a higher level of
importance to anything that can be perceived as consolidating
bonds; this is the reason why women are more likely than men
to call one another up for no other special occasion than to talk.
Men, however, are notably less prone to small talk. Because
men have a lower propensity towards discussing things that
aren’t of immediate or urgent concern, they do not ascribe as
much value to the concept of small talk.
Knowing this, it isn’t all that difficult to see how the
fundamentally different social prioritizations of the male and
female brain can manifest into legitimate conflict when a man
21

and woman commit to being in one another’s private company
for an extended period of time.
Oftentimes, a woman will express frustration at the fact that is
seems as though her man is utterly uninterested in what she
has to share with him. In truth, it won’t be due to the fact that
he is legitimately belittling something that he knows she
believes to be is important.
When tensions are running high in the midst of a couple’s
argument, it’s not uncommon for things to get exaggerated. In
most cases, it’s not entirely true that the man never listens to a
thing that his significant other is saying; it is often merely the
fact that he is unaware of the importance that his woman
attributed to the conversation.
The source of couple’s arguments about an issue having to do
with listening is a mutual lack of understanding of one another.
Beyond simply misunderstanding one another as individuals,
many romantically involved men and women suffer from a lack
of enlightenment about the specific nuances that exist between
how men and women think as a whole.
The common error committed by men and women alike in
relationships is to make the assumption that men and women
think identically.
Because they are unenlightened to the heterogeneous nature of
male and female thought processes, their ability to empathize
with one another is significantly stunted.
The reality of the matter is deeper than a question of a man’s
ability to simply listen to what a woman says. Even if her words
22

are heard as clearly as a bell, the man’s mental infrastructure
dictates how the strongly and effectively the meaning those
words will register.
The Energy for Emotional Introspection
In truth, the man’s lesser powers of emotional intuition make it
far more challenging for him to probe the full depths of their
emotions. Women, on the other hand, are endowed with a
wider emotional palette and superior threshold for experiencing
and embracing their feelings.
It is because of the difference in emotionally introspective
powers that men aren’t observed crying as openly at events
that make women cry more often. It is important to understand
that a lack of tears is not an indication of strength, nor is it a
sign of apathy.
The level of emotional maturity and inner security required to
embrace one’s feelings deeply enough to cry openly is very real.
It can even be said that crying openly may, on occasion, require
an even greater reservoir of inner strength than what is
required to deny the existence of one’s sadness and hold them
in.
When we observe the social stigma attributed to men crying
openly, which has origins based in the significantly misguided
popular perception of emotional strength, it becomes easier to
understand why so many men appear to be as emotionally
reserved as they are.
Many men are legitimately apprehensive about embracing their
own feelings, though they may not fully understand it
themselves, let alone openly admit to it if they’re consciously
aware of their fear.
23

Plenty of women have a misunderstanding of the social
conundrum that men face regarding emotional expression,
which can lead to them getting their feelings hurt for the wrong
reasons – this is where they starting throwing unfair
accusations.
The woman may mistakenly accuse the man of simply lacking
sensitivity, while the frustrated man may make the counteraccusation that the woman is choosing to superimpose things
that aren’t important.
Now we’re going to pull back from the differences between men
and women for a moment to take a look at where the
commonalities across gender lines lye. Ironically, the
differences between the values that men and women tend to
capitalize upon serve as the foundation for something that they
actually hold in common.
Both genders, in their fundamentally different perspectives
towards emotional fulfillment and logical practicality, are
engaging in the pursuit of what is essentially a type of personal
ideal.
Personal Connections and Independent Power
Women thrive on the intimacy of personal connections, while
men are more empowered by their sense of independence.
Intimacy, independence, emotional warmth and self-sufficiency;
you would be hard-pressed to find anyone who would actually
identify any of these things as negative values. Just about
everyone would see the ability to generate positive relationships
and the ability to effectively survive on one’s own as highly
24

valuable and desirable qualities.
It is in the common pursuit of these highly positive and yet
occasionally contradictory ideals that the turbulence between
male and female attitudes is born. It is also for this reason that
men often find it more difficult to fully subscribe to the idea of
committing to their partner for life.
Until there is an extremely powerful and gut-wrenching
compulsion to settle down, a man will find himself constantly
torn between the validity of his feelings and the security in his
own independence.
Essentially, the man may feel like commitment will trap him in a
precarious position. He may feel that allowing himself to place
his sense of stability and potential livelihood at the mercy of
another person may jeopardize his independence.
The reason that so many men are so strongly protective of their
independence is due to the fact that the feeling of control
validates them.
You’ve probably witnessed firsthand what happens when a
fiercely-independent man believes he’s being told what he can
and cannot do. The extensive lengths that men will go to in
order to protect their free-will have caused countless avoidable
conflicts, some far more severe than others.
For many men, the ability to directly control and affect their
present circumstances is a direct marker of intrinsic value.
Many men see the ability to take charge of their lives with no
help as the pinnacle of what is means to be a man; it is for this
reason that so many men value strength as much as they do.

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Because of how much gravity the concept of independence
carries with so many men, it isn’t surprising that men are
seldom-seen openly sharing the things that are challenging
them. To complain would mean to risk being perceived as weak
and less capable of taking care of himself by his peers,
signaling a blow to his value.
The lengths that men will go to for the purpose of hiding the
fact that they’re struggling with a problem can escalate the
problem to the point of being downright counterproductive, but
they’ll see it as a necessary evil.
Women, on the other hand, are less unafraid to openly seek out
counsel and sanctuary when they are faced with a situation that
they can’t handle on their own. They will freely discuss the
nature of things that challenge them without the same fear for
their own autonomy that men experience.
The man’s drive for independence and the woman’s willingness
to seek out assistance are not inherently destructive all on their
own.
Relationships, however, introduce the potential for tension to
develop because of the man woman’s differing perspectives on
personal value. When a man and woman have committed to
spending great amounts of time in one another’s private
company, we observe the clash between these opposing
attitudes towards asking for help.
The situation that best illustrates this conflict is one that most
people are familiar with; it’s the timeless scenario in which a
couple has become lost on the road. The woman will insist that
the man simply asks for instructions and be done with it, and
the man will adamantly refuse.

26

The woman is dumbfounded and frustrated at why the man
seems to be so unreceptive to a harmless and practical
suggestion, unaware that the man takes her insistence that he
ask for help as a blow to his independence and competence.
A man growing frustrated at a woman urging him to ask for
directions can be accurately compared to scenario in which a
woman is frustrated at a man’s disinterest in small talk.
The man and woman’s mutual lack of understanding about the
fundamental differences between gender-specific perceptions of
independence and emotional value will put the couple in a
precarious situation that escalates slowly but surely. The minor
conflicts will have time to swell and fester until a violent
explosion.
Though your intentions may be honestly good when you offer
him help, if you’re not sensitive to the way that he may
interpret the nature of you offering help, you might risk making
things worse. He may put on a tough front, but you can’t
neglect the state of his self-esteem.
Later on in this book, I’m going to thoroughly cover how you
can offer advice to your man without immediately putting him
on his guard.
Now that we’ve dispelled the common illusions about male and
female patterns of thought that allow so many people to initiate
destructive relationships, we can discuss matters that will lead
you towards building far more constructive and understanding
relationships.
Please recall when I stressed the importance of keeping an
open mind, as what I’m about to share with you next may
require some thinking outside of the box.
27

Fact Number One: The ways that men behave around you
will be based on your behavior around them.
Believe it or not, men learn the ways to conduct themselves
around women based on how the women around them are
acting. It isn’t to say that you hold all of the responsibility for
how all man conduct themselves around you, but it’s imperative
that you are completely aware of this dynamic.
You may not be responsible for how every man acts around
you, but you do have an indisputable level of control over how
you choose to conduct yourself around the men you spend time
with.
If you constantly get sexually involved with men of certain kind
of character, then eventually, you’re going to begin to give off
signs that indicate your receptiveness to that kind of character.
You may be thinking that your initial impression of someone
was far too positive for something to be fundamentally wrong
with them, but never let this lead you to turn a blind eye
towards something they do that is out of line.
The more that you condone disrespectful behavior, the more
you’ll seem as though you encourage it. You will essentially be
psychologically conditioning the men around you to see you as
a person that doesn’t mind being disrespected.
Even when nothing at all is actually being said, men are
constantly analyzing women around them (including you),
based on the most subtle behaviors and movements. There is
no denying, then, that staying with a man who has been
unfaithful to you is a crucial sign of permissiveness that opens
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to floor to all kinds of other offenses.
It’s an unfortunate situation, but the truth is that plenty of
women in abusive relationships are living trapped in prisons of
their own design. Their heightened emotional intuition will
essentially be working against them, compelling them to seek
out the fulfillment of intimacy even at the cost of serious abuse.
Unless you break behaviors that train men to disregard your
right to respect, you will never escape the infinite loop of abuse
that ruins the lives of intelligent but misguided women on a
daily basis.
Fact Number 2: Changes in your circumstances must be
preceded by a fundamental change within yourself.
There once was a millionaire who was constantly bothered by
unrelenting pain in his eyes. The professionals gave him tons of
drugs, but he the ache never subsided. With no other person to
turn to, the millionaire sought out the advice of a monk.
The monk advised the millionaire to focus on only green colors.
In response, the millionaire hired painters to coat everything in
his sight in a thick layer of green. He even had servants pour
buckets of green paint on his red clothing.
When he monk visited the millionaire and saw the mess of
things, he couldn’t help but laugh. He told the millionaire and
his servants that a pair of green-tinted sunglasses could have
easily accomplished the same effect without any of the mess.
The moral of this story is that changing your perspective must
always be prioritized over attempting to change everything but
yourself.
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Do not attempt to change men. Change the way that you look
at men with the power of enlightening, gender-centric
knowledge. New knowledge will enhance the clarity of your view
into the male psyche, allowing you to be a more skilled judge of
character.
When you alter the way that you perceive the men around you
by truly studying their psychology, you will be granted with the
key to a brand new dimension of understanding, intimacy, and
attraction.
Fact Three: There will always be the chance of you and
your man wanting completely different things.
Never forget this: most relationships die due to the fact that the
couple fails to appreciate the differences in their wants and
needs. They get so caught up in their own first-person mental
narrative that they miss out on half of the entire picture, which
is the half that is composed of their partner’s unique desires
and experiences.
Do not let the length of the relationship lure you into a false
sense of security. There are couples that remain happily
married for decades before experiencing an unexpected
disagreement and falling apart due to a lack of preparation to
make sense of it or compromise.
You must be receptive to the ever-present reality of a clash of
interest between you and your man. Release all of your
assumptions and expectations about what you think your man
or any other man might want or need, and instead commit
yourself to observing and preparing for potential conflicts.

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Fact Four: Commitment is difficult for men.
We may not like it, but we do ourselves no favors at all by
denying it; commitment is no easy task for most men. It’s a
massive decision. As explained in the earlier sections, a man’s
sense of independence and control is of sacred importance to
him.
Serious relationships require a legitimate degree of faith in that
which cannot be directly controlled. Naturally, a man will have
to think long and hard about the prospect of sacrificing total
power over every aspect of his life in order to permanently give
a piece of his precious personal power to you.
It may not make total sense to all women, but the faster you
accept it, the easier it will be for you and your man.
A long waiting period doesn’t mean that commitment will never
actually happen. In the later sections, we’ll be going over some
handy techniques that you can use to naturally expedite the
process of a man choosing to commit to you!
Now, if you are fully prepared to cast aside your prior
assumptions and make the fundamentally positive changes to
your level of understanding, you’re prepared to start making
positive fundamental changes to your entire love life. Let me
show you how to use this empowering enlightenment to your
best advantage.

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Section 2 - Powerful Emotional Triggers to
Entrance Any Man.
To start this section off, I’d just like to share a personal story
with you that might help you get the right kind of perspective
for what we’re about to cover.
Just a few years ago, there was this girl that I really liked. She
wasn’t just good-looking, she was positively drop-dead
gorgeous. To me, she was the ultimate portrait of what people
mean to portray when they say “hard to get”.
Now don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t a characteristically “shy” guy.
I was confident and extroverted enough to strike up a
conversation with just about anyone without feeling much
anxiety at all.
For some reason, however, she made me feel much different
than anyone else usually did. My normal confidence seemed to
melt into jelly every time she came around. I had plenty of
opportunities to go over to her and talk, but something in the
pit of my stomach kept holding me back from what should have
been effortless.
To say that I was anxious about going up to her and talking to
her was an understatement. It was as if her presence could
shut down my boldness like an emergency power switch. I’m
not proud of it, but it took me months before I was finally able
to build up the courage to approach her for a simple
conversation.
I had no idea what to expect, but I couldn’t let another
opportunity to talk to get go by. Miraculously, we hit it off far
better than I anticipated. After that first conversation between
us, we started to spend an increasing amount of time with one
another.

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I became exponentially more comfortable around her, worlds
apart from when I hadn’t yet managed to even introduce
myself. I came to the realization that she was far more to me
than just a pretty face across the room.
This girl that I’d been too nervous to even make small talk with
for months was everything that a red-blooded man could want.
I couldn’t believe that I hadn’t decided to introduce myself
sooner.
As more time went by, however, I realized that something
slightly peculiar was happening. Though my attraction to her
had initially skyrocketed, I was starting to feel my attraction to
her wane.
I couldn’t identify any specific reason for it, but somehow, it
seemed as though my interest in her was actually dying off at a
gradual rate. The butterflies that used to materialize in my
stomach at the very notion of speaking with her were longgone. I didn’t even feel the same level of excitement at seeing
her anymore.
There had been times when I had actually lost sleep because of
how badly I wanted to talk to her, but eventually, those nights
became nothing more than a distant memory.
Instead of wondering how I could have waited so long to meet
this fantastic woman, I was wondering just what had attracted
me to her so powerfully in the very first place.
Keep in mind, it’s not as though I was actively trying to let go of
what I had felt for her in the beginning. Lots of guys go through
phases of intentional “detoxificiation” to get over their feelings
for a girl they want nothing to do with anymore, but this was
not my objective.
For some inexplicable reason, I was gradually and naturally
growing disenchanted with what used to be one of the most
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enchanting women that I’d ever laid eyes on before. If
anything, I was trying to convince myself that I in-fact did still
feel things for her that I did before.
I was almost like I was internally chanting to myself to preserve
the feelings within that were fizzling out.
“This is the perfect girl for me”, I thought to myself.
“She is the one that I have always wanted to be with”, I said to
myself over and over again.
I thought that I could re-summon the feelings that I used to
have with enough effort, but it was for naught. The inner desire
that I formerly had for her was completely wiped out, and I was
left with nothing but a serious feeling of confusion as to how in
the world it had actually happened.
The disappearance of my affection wasn’t the only strange thing
that happened, however; it was only the beginning.
As I came to terms with the fact that my attraction for her had
mysteriously fizzled out, I observed a peculiar change in her
behavior as it happened. I saw that the more I pulled away
from her, the more she would actually push herself towards me.
The less affectionate that I became, the more effort she would
put into making me happy.
I felt like I was in a different dimension. Just a couple months
prior, I hadn’t even had the nerve to ask this girl what her
name was. Now, I was actually making an effort to spend less
time with her as her advances towards me became increasingly
intense and effortful.
She went farther than extra mile to do things for me, and while
I legitimately appreciated it, I couldn’t successfully pretend as
though it actually made my former feelings for her return to
what they once were.
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I’ll spare you the details of exactly what happened after that,
but to make a long story short, we broke things off within
months. A one-sided relationship can only last so long.
Fast-forward just a couple of months into the future, and I
came across another girl that grabbed my attention. There’s
something important to clarify here, before I talk about this
second girl: I did not find her as physically attractive as I had
the first girl, but it didn’t actually matter. I was even more
attracted to her.
This girl that I met months after my breakup was always on my
mind after we met. The most accurate and eloquent way to put
it is that she drove me crazy. My friends were at as much of a
loss to understand it as I was at a loss to explain it.
The only way that I could answer their questions about the
source of my feelings for her was, “She’s different.” Sometimes,
a person’s appeal can be based almost entirely in the almost
mystifying quality of their sheer otherness. Their qualities,
whatever they may be, strike you as so unique that it’s
impossible not to be captivated.
Well, have you ever heard the saying, “History may not repeat
itself, but it rhymes?”
I felt more attraction for this girl than the level of attraction
that the girl I’d broken up with felt for me, and guess what
happened? She broke it off with me after only a few months
into our budding relationship.
Of course I was anything but happy about what had happened,
but there was a silver lining in the dark cloud. After some time
had passed, I found that being dumped had just so happened
to lead me to one of the most vital bits of wisdom I’ve ever
attained about the laws of attraction and relationships in
general.

35

Funnily enough, having to experience the person I’d been
incredibly attracted to kick me to the curb actually led me to
achieving some seriously legitimate insight. I understood just
why I had suddenly stopped feeling a high level of attraction
towards the first girl that I’d become infatuated with, and why
the second girl had cut me loose.
While it had all been awfully confusing at first, I came to realize
the existence of an easily discernible pattern beneath what had
initially seemed inexplicable. With the knowledge of this
concept, I realized the secret to maintaining a consistent level
of mutual affection in a relationship without the risk of
deterioration.
I can say with the utmost confidence that if you can take this
concept to heart, then you are already halfway towards being
just as successful with men as you want to be.
In the simplest terms, what we’re going to be covering here is
nothing more than the simple chemistry underlining that funny
thing called “attraction”.
The Attraction Analysis
The first thing that we all need to understand about attraction is
that, contrary to what some people might believe, attraction is
not a choice. Men and women can declare all of the standards
that they please, but at the end of the day, there is absolutely
nothing that we can do to alter what naturally tickles our
hormones.
Every man occasionally comes across a female that he just
can’t explain, for the life of him, why she’s able to so
effortlessly set his nerves on fire. For every man, there are
certain women out there who are able to take the form of his
greatest weakness and utterly destroy his cool with absolutely
no effort at all.

36

Some of these women may be social butterflies that can strike
up conversations and set hearts alight like matches, leaving a
trail of hot and bothered masses behind them like a trail of
sexually frustrated fire.
For some other men, the woman that captivates may not even
need to be all that extroverted. The woman may be as quiet as
a blade of grass, and yet all the same, she will somehow have
that certain something that gives her the power make him feel
his heart skip a beat for absolutely no reason at all.
Whether they’re thrill-seeking adventurers or introverted booklovers, certain women have the uncanny power to make waves
of men obsess over them for reasons that have nothing to do
with how they look. Some of these women may still be quite
gorgeous, but the allure of an invisible element will overshadow
even their physical attractiveness.
Transcending the Touchable
Believe it or not, when you really get down to it, attraction is
actually not solely dictated by a person’s physical allure.
Attraction can certainly be enhanced and augmented by a
pretty face and a rocking body, but at the end of the day, it
transcends the things that can only be appreciated by the
eyes.
The issue that many women have is that they’re only really
getting half of the big picture. Instead of understanding that
attraction is more than only skin-deep, they invest all of their
points into looking like a supermodel; it gets them results, but
usually, it’s not the kind of attention that they’re legitimately
after.
Many women are truly after the feeling of actually being
committed to and wanted for what they are as people, beyond
the foundation they lay down upon their skin. Unfortunately,
circumstances may lead these women to believing that only
37

what they have to offer physically can draw in the kind of
emotional warmth they seek.
If you want to really experience the kind of wholesome
connection that’s born out of a legitimate, metaphysical kind of
attraction, then I’ve got good news for you; it is entirely
possible to learn how to trigger this attraction by default,
whenever you please.
Once you learn how to trigger the attraction that makes men
experience a gravitational pull that’s beyond physicality, your
work is essentially all done.
All it takes is the initial spark of that first spike of legitimate,
raw attraction to set a man onto his internal drive to win you
over. To put it simply, he will be almost always at the mercy of
his impulses to pursue you.
On the other side of the same coin, you can be confident that a
man who is repulsed by you will scarcely hide his lack of
willingness to be near you. With a deeper understanding of the
nature of attraction, you’ll keep yourself from misreading a
signal and mistakenly believing that an uninterested man has
feelings for you.
Now keep in mind, should this technique be successful, you will
have awakened a degree of tenacity within the man that he
himself may even find surprising. Before you commit to learning
how to pull the trigger of emotional stimulus, you should be
fully prepared to deal with the full effects of its potential power.
Now you could probably already gather this from what we’ve
just gone over at length, but just to reiterate in the most
concise and effective way, attraction is truly a subconscious
phenomenon. With a little bit of practice, however, you can
learn to manually control the intensity of the attraction that a
guy feels towards you.

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All that you have to do to awaken a guy’s attraction towards
you, with minimal effort, is to integrate a few minor
adjustments into your character. There is a reason why I have
chosen to say “integrate adjustments” instead of “changes”.
If I were to advise you to legitimately –change- your
personality, then I would be asking you to do something
fundamentally superficial and unfounded. All that I’d be doing is
leading you down to the path to being dishonest with yourself,
which will lead to overcompensation and a false sense of
confidence.
Even though men may not be as naturally emotionally intuitive
as women are, they are entirely capable of picking up on a
person who’s trying too hard to be something that they’re not.
You won’t be able to keep the façade of your persona with
exaggerated changes in your normal behavior, and it will be alltoo-obvious.
When you instead make the effort to integrate behaviors into
your behavior, however, the result is far more seamless and less
personally jarring.
Instead of forcing yourself to act in a way that’s different from
your normal personality, you are instead going to gradually
integrate the most attractive exemplifications of your true self
into your everyday conduct.
You will be essentially be radiating with the full luster of your
natural value, and without even being aware of it, men that you
come across will be subtly but decisively effected by the
influence of your inner brilliance.
When your innermost contents are exemplified to a degree
leaves an impression even deeper than the clothes people wear
to get compliments, you’ll absolutely marvel at just how
substantial the changes can be in a startlingly short amount of
time.
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Now, before we cut down into the even deeper science of what
these this kind of power implies, I must reiterate a few
important points:
-No matter how much they may assert the contrary, men
cannot and will not control who they are honestly
attracted to. The more that a man actually tries to deny the
true nature of his affections, the more likely he’ll be to succumb
to them in the long run.
-In the same fashion, men cannot control who they aren’t
attracted to any better than they can control who they
actually are attracted to.
-Affection is something that happens at the tail-end of what can
be a lightning-quick chain reaction of stimuli and behaviors.
Whether intentionally or subconsciously, the little innocuous
things that we do and say on a daily basis are constantly
enacting these little chain reactions in everyone around us.
Now that we’ve gone over the essential details of what
regulates legitimate attraction, we can start discussing the
specific behaviors proven to trigger the kind of attraction that
we’ve been discussing so far.
It’s not at all a complicated list of things that need to be
remembered. The behaviors that universally foster attraction in
other people are the keystones of just about every quality or
achievement that any person desires, regardless of their
personality and occupation.
The behaviors that have been proven to generate attraction
are:

1.

Exclusivity

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2.

Unpredictability

3.

Emotional Maturity

4.

The presence of standards and boundaries

5.

A level of demand

Exclusivity
When it comes to what makes a person appear desirable, one
indispensable quality is just how valuable it feels to be spending
time with that person when you actually get the chance.
A person who is perpetually easy to get a hold of won’t seem
like a challenge, which will make the great volume of time to
see seem them appear less valuable. The way we are
programmed simply makes us prone to mostly want the things
that we can’t have easily.
This constant hunger for all that which eludes us is a vital
element of what characterizes the entire human race. Women
who aren’t constantly available to get in contact, therefore, will
always appear to be of a slightly higher natural intrinsic quality.
Unpredictability
The amount of accuracy with which we can predict an event can
be considered the container of information that we can “access”
about anything or anyone at any given moment in time.
As we’ve just asserted that accessibility has a negative
relationship with desirability, it’s easy to see how things with a
less accessible amount of information that could be potentially
used to “predict” them can seem more valuable by default.
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Even being in the presence of an unpredictable person doesn’t
offer a wealth of ability to predict their next move or thought; a
full understanding of them will be like a rare commodity that
you may wonder if anyone really possesses.
Unpredictable women captivate men because they are difficult
to access even mentally, teasing the man’s thoughts to an even
higher degree in her physical absence.
She may either be available in the next hour, or not for several
weeks. Her exclusivity will be enhanced twofold, and the man’s
attraction will be powerfully augmented by anxious uncertainty
in his heart.
Emotional Maturity
The emotionally mature women will be far less likely to make
herself impractically available at all times to men she is
interested in. She is secure enough to not be bothered or
express great displeasure with being unable to see people that
she wants to when she does initiate a plan that falls through.
Her cool acceptance of time spent alone and ability to embrace
an independent a wholly lifestyle will make her immediately
appear more valuable, impressive, less accessible, and more
attractive to all men.

The presence of standards and boundaries
A woman who truly finds her own time important will not
neglect the power to set up barriers to predict it; doing such is
a sign of emotional maturity and exclusivity. Boundaries will
create challenges that all interested men will have to attempt
bypassing if they really want to be with her, increasing the
incentive value.

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A Level of Demand
When men get the sense that other men find a woman
irresistible, they will feel all the more affected by her low
accessibility. They will have to deal with the fact that there
might be multiple other men with whom she has chosen to
share her time, and this fact will drive them to higher levels of
desire to get another chance.
When a man thinks that a woman is desired by a lot of other
men, he’ll project everything that he likes about her onto the
desires of the unknown hypothetical men he imagines spending
time with her in his absence; it will magnify his desires once
again.
When a woman is relatively inaccessible and apparently in high
demand with many other men, the effect can be even further
enhanced if she doesn’t rush into a physical relationship. You
won’t have the man instantly getting everything he wants and
then wondering what to do next.
He will be forced to appreciate the other things about you or
give up, which gives you one less thing cluttering who and what
is really important. Maintaining a constant aura of uncertainty,
exclusivity, maturity and desirability about you is the essence of
what it means to be termed a truly attractive, high-value
female.
You should never give up all your cards by showing too much
interest, but you should also take care not to show so little
interest that it makes the man think there’s no point to getting
involved at all.

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Section 3 - The Invisible Trap: How to Avoid it
Before it’s Too Late.
Have you ever been around a guy that just possesses the most
uncanny ability to sweep you off your feet and into the wind like
a dandelion petal? Do you know or have you ever known
someone who legitimately makes you think about whether or
not you’ve discovered your “soulmate”?
If you’ve ever met this person, have you ever had to deal with
all your friends telling you that getting involved with him would
be an awful idea?
Have you ever waged a war against all of your friends’ advice
and your own common sense at the same time, and won? If
you won, was it really a victory in the end, considering the
results that followed?
There are thousands of things that may make you question
whether the victory of your new relationship was really a victory
or not. Weeks or maybe even just days into it, you may start to
realize things that legitimately make you start seeing
inconsistencies between what you thought you found and what
is there.
The things that made you happy will start to flicker and fade
out of focus like a holographic image losing power, and what
you see in-between those flickers may appear to be something
you actually don’t care for at all.
You may start to realize that the person you thought was
supposed to be a source of continual happiness is, in reality, a
source of profound vexation. You might be dumbstruck at the
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fact that you get the opposite of every feeling that you fully
expect to experience.
You may realize that your perfect boyfriend is, in all honesty, a
perfect jerk; and not in the way that sets your heart aflutter
like a schoolgirl that’s smitten with the bad boy getting kicked
out of class. You might find instead that your boyfriend is
actually more like the kind of jerk that just makes you wish you
could be somewhere else.
What is it that keeps so many women constantly falling into the
same old trap? It’s almost like there’s some kind of reality
distortion field that separates intelligent women from their own
common sense when affection enters the picture.
You may give yourself even more decent advice than you
actually receive, which is already a lot, and yet somehow still
wind up wondering where you went wrong again. You could find
yourself in this situation multiple times within the same year,
and truthfully, you wouldn’t be anywhere near alone in your
plight.
Tons of women make the mistake of trying to form the perfect
relationship out of what is seemingly just thin air. They make
the mistake of just expecting too much too soon, and invariably,
they are punished for their over zealousness in the end.
While we can’t just completely disregard the need for at least
some personal accountability in this situation, it needs to be
understood that a strong level of attraction can legitimately be
compared to a narcotic drug for what it can do to a person.
Whenever you act under the influence of nothing other than the
strength of your affection, you could legitimately compare it to
acting under the effect of alcohol. You may feel as though
45

you’re the one in control, and you may feel a great and almost
atypical level of self-confidence.
You’ll be flying blind with the illusion of perfect vision, never
actually seeing the situation for what it really is until you’ve
crashed headfirst into the wall of reality. As soon as you make
the collision, you’ll immediately feel the collective impact of
everything about them that bothers you that you’ve
suppressed.
Before that sobering crash actually happens, though, you’ll be
so wrapped up in the fabric of what you’re feeling that it will
actually seem as though their flaws are good qualities. You’ll
unconsciously grasp at the thinnest straws that may lead to
good interpretations of objectively bad things that they have
done or said.
Let’s look at an extremely common example of this dynamic
that can shed additional light on the matter. A woman is with a
new guy that seems just about untarnished in every single way,
only with the stipulation that it seems as though everybody
besides her finds it hard to stand the guy for more than five
minutes at a time.
Before her disillusionment, many a woman will defend the
sanctity of their delusions to what can be a startling extent. If
they don’t outright deny the possibility of certain flaws in their
men, they will come up with no shortage of half-explanations
and logical leaps in order to justify plain rudeness and betrayal.
Have you ever heard a theory that compares the effects of
perfect weather to thundering rainstorm? Even though perfect
weather doesn’t introduce nearly as many physical detriments
as a raging storm, this doesn’t guarantee safety.

46

Crisp air and sunlight can actually endanger people in the realm
of their false sense of security. While the weather itself may not
be fatal to experience all on its own, its pleasantness may lead
to people letting their guards down and feelings of lessened
inhibition.
In this state, people are less perceptive of subtly negative
stimuli and may exhibit a heightened proclivity to get involved
in situations or accidents that may have been avoided with
some additional caution. While it may not always be pleasant,
fear can act a kind of warning that prevents the consequences
of carelessness.
Why is this ‘perfect weather’ delusion so addicting in a
destructive relationship? It’s addictive because it massages your
pleasure receptors and takes away your attention from
everything else. It’s like a painkiller that gives you waves of
euphoria without actually removing the source of the pain itself.
So long as you rely on nothing but the painkiller, you’ll never
get rid of the pain itself. You’ll become gradually less affected
by the euphoria, slowly feeling more and more pain, but all the
while getting increasingly addicted to your indulgence all the
same.
It goes without saying, then, that getting involved with a man
without taking some time to question your own affections can
easily be a recipe for failure if you aren’t careful. Men
themselves are far less likely to begin a relationship based on
nothing other an attraction alone. Men need a good reason to
settle down.
The lesser likelihood of men getting into a legitimate
relationship out of pure attraction may be linked to their higher
rate of dating around and their trouble with settling down.
47

Keeping the options open is far easier when you don’t have the
same level of attraction keeping you feeling as much anchoring
attachment.
When faced with the realization that she is more emotionally
vulnerable than her man, it isn’t uncommon for a woman to feel
slightly insecure about the dynamic. She will feel as though she
is fighting against the clock, constantly, counting down to the
end of her relationship due to the man growing bored and
leaving.
If the woman doesn’t cut her losses and leave at this point out
of fear, she may instead enter a state where she will go to
exorbitant lengths for the sake of that which she is too afraid to
let go of.
As mentioned before, however, an addiction based on attraction
is not at all guaranteed to last forever. Because the attraction
will naturally begin to fade after a time, she will eventually find
it more and more obvious that her man isn’t exactly the least
flawed individual that she’s ever met.
In time, the flaws will finally become obvious enough for her to
see her man in the same way that her friends kept telling her
that they did all along: a general jerk. She will begin to wonder
what millions of women before her have wondered: How in the
world did I wind up falling for this in first place?
This invisible trap is not something that only one in ten women
go through. More than half of all romantically active women will
have, at some point, wind up getting themselves involved with
somebody that makes them question their own judgment in
hindsight.
They will be painfully aware of their folly at first, but
48

unfortunately, this clarity is not always permanent. Much like
alcohol or any other thing that evokes a
psychoactive/physiological reaction, the amount of rational
knowledge that you have won’t actually help you if it manages
to penetrate your system.
A genius that gets in a drunken stupor is no more dignified than
a complete moron who gets drunk right along with them. While
a person who has survived the effects of an extreme attraction
may be able to learn a lesson from it, it won’t be enough unless
they know how to avoid getting swept up the next time.
If the warning sings aren’t actually appreciated and paid
attention to, then no amount of experience with getting hurt
will protect the person from getting hurt. They will trap
themselves in a recurring loop of pain and befuddlement.
Before you find yourself falling under the spell of the same kind
of guy yet again, you need to see what it is you can identify
within him as a truly positive feature before you wind up
committed again. If you can build up a list of pros that actually
makes sense before you fall head of over heels, you’re less
likely to get burned.
These are the questions that you should be asking yourself
before you wind up letting your emotions take over your
judgment:
1.

Is he truly a high quality man?

2.

Is it certain that he will make a good future mate?

3. Are we truly compatible enough to make it through
anything?

49


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