Aaron Fox, The Drama Method eBook .pdf
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DramaMethod.com All Rights Reserved
This book is written for informational purposes only. The author has
made every effort to make sure the information is complete and
accurate. All attempts have been made to verify information at the
time of this publication and the authors do not assume any
responsibility for errors, omissions, or other interpretations of the
subject matter. The publisher and author shall have neither liability
nor responsibility to any person or entity with respect to any loss or
damage caused or alleged to be caused directly or indirectly by this
Table Of Contents – Part 1
Chapter 1: The “3 Keys”Formula_______________________________ 45
Chapter 2: Emotional Intensity Knob____________________________ 50
Chapter 3: The “3 in 1” Rule__________________________________
Chapter 4: Love Does Not Conquer All___________________________ 68
Chapter 5: Happily Never After_________________________________ 73
Chapter 6: Real Is More Than Ideal______________________________ 84
Chapter 7: Necessary VS. Unnecessary Drama_____________________ 94
Chapter 8: The Dirty Emotional Release Truth____________________ 114
Chapter 9: The Dirty Secret Of Male Emotional Intensity____________ 122
INTRODUCTION PART 1: His Reality
Amy was crazy. It wasn’t something that Derek liked to think, or even feel toward the
woman he so desperately loved, but she truly was. Sometimes, Derek even felt as
though this woman was going to kill him. Not literally, of course, but figuratively, Amy
was going to be the death of Derek, at least, that’s how it felt to him.
Emotionally he was drained, he was too far gone to be saved, it seemed. Earlier the
same day, Derek had proposed to Amy, in a way that he felt was, in the very least,
worthy of an“Emmy Award”. He had tried to be as romantic as a fairy tale kiss itself,
but had apparently failed.
Holding a heart shaped pendant in his hand, Derek now felt stupid. He angrily
demanded an answer to the most piercing question he would ever have to ask
How could he have been so stupid?
Derek had screwed things up before, but never this badly. He was in the dog house
for sure, this time. Clutching the necklace tightly, Derek began to realize his mistake
very clearly, as the events played back in his mind.
Derek had surprised Amy with the necklace about two hours earlier, after spending
nearly a month trying to convince her, to free up her busy schedule so that they could
hang out together and go for a picnic.
He knew it was a long-shot, asking a girl like Amy to come along for a picnic. It wasn’t
exactly what she wanted from him…it was actually quite pathetic, but for some
reason, she was going to give him another chance.
He felt silly thinking about it now, but he had something even more grand planned,
but he had to be careful not to overshadow it, or make it too obvious. A picnic
invitation seemed romantic enough, even though Amy deserved much better.
Derek now shivered, as he replayed the moment in his mind again. He would
somehow have to find a way to drag her to an obscure location, and not leave her
feeling as though she was wasting her time with him again.
He reasoned that renting a two person bicycle was the way to go. It was something
peculiarly unique, yet strange enough, that Amy might just try it. Luckily for him, she
In the moment he felt that he stood a chance, as fate finally dealt him a mercy filled
outcome, an outcome though, that he surely didn’t deserve.
As they rode along a biking trail, Derek began to realize that his method was
working…only…there was one problem.
He couldn’t see her reaction, because she sat behind him on the bicycle.
He had no idea if she was truly enjoying this, or if she was about ready to get off the
bike and kick him in the crotch for just another “disappointment”. He felt an intense
drive to push forward, and past the doubts, regardless of the idea that she might try
to push him away again.
He kept reminding himself, that something bigger was waiting, and as they got closer
and closer, he felt his heart pounding harder and tighter.
As he approached the off trail pathway he had conveniently led her toward, he made
an excuse that his leg was getting cramped, and asked her to stop for a quick break.
He certainly didn’t feel like the smoothest of players, but that was probably the best
excuse he had ever come up with, in his life…and she was never going to suspect a
thing, at this rate.
As they got off the bike, and stood, resting, Amy had begun to make small talk
conversation, about the two person bicycle.
“Considering the fact that it takes two different people to run this thing, I’m surprised
at how easy it is, once you get the hang of it”, she had said.
A sigh of relief swept over his body, as he realized, he had actually slightly intrigued
her, with his little ploy. Now all he had to do was somehow convince her to ditch the
bike, and to walk down the pathway conveniently located right beside them.
“Looks like there’s quite a few off-trail pathways along this road. I’ve always wanted to
go down one of those. You know, to see what it is that other people see, and to see
where it goes.”, he had explained.
“Yeah, I guess it gives you a more intimate experience. No paved roads, or signs, or
people on roller blades, or bikes.”, Amy had contended, with a smirk on her face.
“Do…do you want to go down this one? Maybe see where it goes?”,Derek nervously
“Uh. Well, we kind of have this huge bike. We can’t just leave it here. Somebody
might steal it”, she reminded him.
“Come on, we are the only two people out here. We never do stuff like this. It’s just a
few minutes, here, I’ll pull the bike into the path, so that nobody can see it, and we’ll
just be a few minutes anyway…”, he proposed, as he began pulling the bike into the
“Well-”, she had only begun to reply, when Derek suddenly grabbed her arm, and
pulled her quickly, toward the secret path.
He couldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer this time. He refused to even let her THINK about
it. He wanted her to see how she felt first, before she said anything more. This was
the most important moment of his life.
As they made their way through the trail, and the path began to narrow, Amy began
expressing her reluctance to head off into a remote location, but he had kept on
reassuring Amy, that everything was going to be ok, and that he would take care of
He reminded her that they always had their cell phones, just in case they needed any
help. Feeling comforted at the supportive yet eager tone Derek was manifesting, Amy
had smiled, as she reached to grab his hand firmly….showing the first signs of
affection, in what felt like ages to Derek.
It didn’t take long before Amy began to notice that there were photographs pinned to
the trees. Derek had taken pictures of their time together as a couple, and had pinned
them all to the surrounding trees on the pathway, earlier that morning.
“What….what is this?”, she curiously asked.
“This is us.” He had replied.
“Well, yeah I get that, but, why are our pictures on the trees?”- he could tell that she
didn’t want to ruin the moment, but it was just unlike him to do something THIS
romantic, and even HE knew that!
As they walked, Derek had begun to narrate each picture, explaining how he felt, with
each passing moment that had been so beautifully captured within their photographs
Pointing to one image, Derek began to explain, “When we met, I thought that you
looked like an angel. I know, it sounds cheesy, so I never told you that I thought you
looked more beautiful than I could have ever imagined.”
“Aww…”,Amy was beaming, with her body swooning at the idea that THIS man was
finally expressing how he felt. He was finally telling her how he felt, after she spent
years relentlessly explaining how she had been feeling so disconnected with Derek,
and after almost giving up…here he was, finally opening up to her!
“This is when I introduced you to my Mom. I had actually been telling my mom every
little detail about you, before. I know, you were so scared to meet her, and you were
wondering what she would think. You wanted to make a good impression. But what I
never told you, is that I was in love with you, and I had been telling my Mom just how
amazing you had been making me feel, almost every night after you’d get off the
phone with me!”, Derek explained.
“Really?”, Amy asked; stunned yet again, that she didn’t even know any of this. “Now
I understand why your mom, gave me a big huge hug, when we first met! I just
thought she was trying to be super nice and open!” Amy laughed now.
Derek continued, “Well, by the time you had met her, you were infamous already. I
just didn’t want to freak you out, or scare you,or anything like that, so I wanted to
wait until the right time to tell you, just how deeply I feel about you.”
Amy couldn’t help it, she had to ask, “But you know, that I’ve been asking you to trust
me, and to put your faith in me, all this time. What’s changed to make you, now finally
want to do this?”
“How about you let me show you some more, and then I’ll let you ask all the
questions you want, if you have any left, once I am done. Deal?”,Derek proposed.
“Alright… I have to admit, I would like to see where this is going.”, Amy agreed.
“This is from when I took you to that restaurant you had been bugging me to go to,
and I got food poisoning, but you took me to the hospital, and stayed with me all
night, just to make sure I was OK. You even called my Mom, to make sure she could
know that I was OK too…” He paused.
“I… I never thanked you for it, but I want to let you know now, that I’ve never had
somebody stay with me like that. I’ve never had somebody love me enough, to want
me with the good, and the bad.”, he admitted.
“And this...”, he had grabbed her hand, and pulled her over to another tree, “here, this
was the first time I had kissed you. I know, we had kissed many times before, but you
had always been the one kissing me. This was the first time, I had realized just how
badly I wanted you, how I wanted to hold you, be with you, and have you. I was too
afraid to tell you how I felt, because I thought it’d make me seem like less of a man.”.
Grabbing both of her hands this time, and gripping them tightly, he walked backward,
further into the path, toward a creek, pulling her along each step of the way, until
they reached a tree trunk, covered in red paper roses.
“Wow! Derek, it’s so beautiful!”, Amy exclaimed!
“There’s just one more thing,” Derek whispered.
“What? Really! There’s more?”, Amy couldn’t even put her thoughts together anymore.
So many strange yet wonderful surprises had already overwhelmed her mind and
body, could she take just one more?
“Yes. You see that tree stump over there, covered in roses?”, he described.
“Yes, I saw it earlier, it’s so beautiful!Derek, how did you do that?”, she exclaimed.
“Well, each rose is made out of paper, and inside each one, there’s a little note for
you, for each of the days that we have been on a date. I made one, after every date
we had, and hid them under my bed. Go check them out. Pick any one you like.”, he
“Really? Derek! This is crazy. This is the most romantic thing that I have ever seen! I
am just… I don’t even know what to say… except that I love you, and I can’t believe
you’ve done all of this, for me!”, she was ecstatic.
Hearing these words, Derek struggled to contain his elation, realizing that everything
was going according to plan…but it wasn’t over just yet. He still hadn’t asked the big
question. Feeling closer to Amy than ever before, he watched as she excitedly, took all
of the paper roses down, and read them aloud, one by one, as they sat on the ground
Each one was more romantic than the next, revealing all kinds of secrets, feelings,
and thoughts Derek had been holding back from her or keeping secret all this time.
“You see,” he explained, “This is why I couldn’t tell you certain things. I didn’t want to
ruin the big moment. It might have made it less special, and you deserve so much
more than this. I didn’t want to make you feel like I was cold or distant, but I really- it
was just too important for you to have a moment like this, that’s beautiful and kind
like you are.”
“AwwDerek… this is just. This is so beautiful!”, she sobbed.
She had read every single one; there were over 75 of them. Each one, more
enchanting than the last.
So caught up in their emotions, neither had noticed how late it was getting. They had
been there so long, that the sun was beginning to set. It was getting late, and chilly.
“I lied.”, Derek mentioned, as his gaze suddenly grew serious.
“What do you mean?”, she hesitated. She was afraid to ask almost, as her heart
dropped. What a rollercoaster this had been, was he just playing games again? This
would be the sickest game ever played, if he was being serious right now.
Putting her guard back up, she stood up and barked,“You better not be playing with
me!” at him, unable to imagine putting up with even just one more mind game from
“No, no more games, Amy…. I just, wanted to save this for last. I told you that I had
only one surprise left, well I lied. I have just one more, for you.”, he reassured her.
“Oh, now I feel really bad. I always go and ruin everythi-”-his lips silenced her. He
kissed her so intensely, and pulled her body into his, so tightly, that she had no choice
but to give in to him. His hands moved up toward her neck, lifting her hair up. He
pulled away to kiss her neck, then moved back to her lips.
“Hold your hair up for me, for just a sec…”, he instructed. She quickly lifted her hair
away, as he moved in close toward her, with his hands behind her neck, fumbling with
something. “Ugh…”, he sighed.
“Everything alright?”, she asked. “Yes, just a sec.” he answered. A warm and tingly
sensation coasted across her skin, as she felt a weight suddenly pull at the base of her
neck. She looked down, to see a pendant on her chest. She lifted it up, gently, to
notice that it was a heart, a gold heart.
Derek professed, “I drew this myself, and had it specially made to match the drawing.
There is no other necklace like it. It’s unique, just like you. I want you to have this, to
remember that I will always be there to keep you warm, and safe, and loved. I want
you to know that when you see this, that you are my wife, and my everything, that
you are important to me, and always will be. You are the love of my life. You are my
With tears rolling down her face again, she had somehow managed to mumble to
him: “Are… are you serious?”.
Derek let go of her hands, and quickly wrapped his arms around her, embracing her
tightly. She could feel his breath on her neck, as he whispered: “I love you, and I
never want to let you go. I’m sorry it took me so long to say it. I know, I’m an idiot,
but I hope that you can forgive this idiot one last time, as I do one more thing, to try
and make it right.”
So wrapped up in the moment, Amy had been unable to say anything… she stood
there in silence anticipating heavily, his next move. Still wrapped in an embrace, she
felt his hands reach down into the back pocket of her jeans, she squirmed and
giggled, as she tauntingly yelled “Derek!!!!!”.
Thinking he must be feeling a little frisky, she squirmed away, only to find that he had
let go of her. Looking up at him, in fear that maybe she had ruined everything, she
could only stand, in silence now, astounded at what she was seeing.
With his head turned to the side, to hide the fact that he was crying, he was wiping
his tears onto his shirt sleeve, and holding a picture toward her, with his other hand. It
was an image of her sleeping.
Embarrassed she murmured “Derek… I… uh.. I really… I don’t understand?”, realizing
that he had pulled this picture from her pants pocket, and must have placed it in there
earlier, without her even noticing.
“When did you take this picture of me? Ha haha, it’s so bad”, she laughed, trying to
lighten the mood.
“This was the moment, when I realized, that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with
you. I felt so comfortable, lying next to you, I felt so at home, and so at peace, that I
wanted to remember that moment forever. I know you hate it when I take pictures of
you, when you feel like you might look like a mess. But this night, you looked like my
wife. You looked like my future. You looked like everything in the woman that I want
to spend the rest of my life with.”, he revealed.
And with that, he had bent down on one knee, turning the picture around, to reveal
the back of the picture, where he had written: “Will you marry me, and make me
Thinking now, of everything that had happened, Derek wished more than anything,
that he could just stop time itself, in that very moment. He wasn’t prepared for the
answer she was about to give him. He hadn’t thought ofthe real reality, when he so
foolishly tried something so desperate on a girl like Amy.
“Are you #!%$ing kidding me, right now?”, she screamed, unable to contain herself.
The more she realized what was happening, the more pissed off she had become.
“Really….REALLY!? Seriously? Are you for real?”, she barked.
“I don’t even. I can’t believe you’d have the nerve to even THINK about pulling
something like this, after everything I said to you. I made it pretty fricking clear,
Derek. How selfish can you be?”, she roared, as a rainfall of tears suddenly began to
explode from her eyes.
“$@*! You!”, she moaned, as she ripped the pendant from her neck, and chucked it
toward him, as though it were poison.
And with that, she had made up her mind, and ran off.
Tears fell into Derek’s hands now, onto the pendant, as he tried to find some logical
reason to a relationship that had now gone so horribly wrong. He loved Amy with all
of his heart, but he just couldn’t seem to get her to listen anymore.
He thought that everything had been perfect. He had tried so hard to please her, and
yet there she had been, throwing her fists into his chest, screaming at him, at the top
of her lungs, calling him the most selfish and ignorant jerk on the planet.
“Babe- I-”- those were the only words he managed to get out, but she had cut him
off. She wouldn’t even let him apologize, or ask what was wrong. She was really going
to tear his heart out piece by piece, wasn’t she?
He sighed. Of course she was. What else was he supposed to expect from his
princess? Even perfect, wasn’t perfect enough in her eyes, it seemed. She wasn’t
happy, unless everything was dramatic.
The problem, though, wasn’t that she had rejected him, or gotten mad. The problem
was that he was forced to love her, no matter what she did. He was in it for the long
No other woman was going to replace Amy, even if she completely hated him, and
even if everything felt hopeless, Derek knew that he had only one resolve: he had to
make it work with her, no matter what.
That was the only way, he could ever feel complete again. Though this hurt, he knew
it would never hurt as much as failing to try again. Amy was worth it. Amy had given
him so many chances before, over the years, but he had failed her time and time
It was only fair for her to ask him for more, and to prove himself. She needed more
than words, and desperate attempts. He knew that…and he was going to prove to her
that they were meant to be together, even if that meant sacrificing everything he ever
knew, just for a chance at true love.
INTRODUCTION PART 2: Her Reality
Derek was crazy. It wasn’t something that Amy liked to think, or even feel toward the
man she so desperately loved, but he truly was. Sometimes, Amy even felt as though
this man was going to kill her. Not literally, of course, but figuratively, Derek was going
to be the death of Amy, at least, that’s how it felt to her.
She had been so emotionally invested in this guy, for 7 years now, that she wasn’t
even sure who she was anymore, or why she was even still bothering to ‘try’. Derek
had wasted her time, and her love, so many times over and over again, that her
friends and family felt that she was simply delusional and crazy for even trying to love
the guy anymore.
Her own mother had begun to refer to Derek as an “abusive” and even “toxic” guy,
and from where Amy stood, nobody seemed to be able to see the potential that she
and Derek had to make things work out between them.
It had happened about a month earlier, but Amy could remember it as clear as a beam
of sunlight, glaring in her eyes. Everything had been ‘typical’ in her relationship, up
until that point, at least, typical for the kinds of things Derek used to try to pull around
her. But on this day, something felt very different. Something was not ‘right’.
She couldn’t quite put her finger on it, but after spending the entire night frozen in a
pool of her own tears, with eyes now burning like a house on fire, a sudden reality
began to creep up in Amy’s subconscious.
At first it came like a whisper… ‘why are you doing this to yourself?’, it asked. The only
answer she could manage to rip from her already torn heart, was an even more
confusing reality, ‘I don’t know’, she thought, dis-concertedly.
Feeling as dehydrated as a dead cactus, Amy stood in the kitchen, struggling to chug
down a glass of water, as another question quickly crept up from the depths of her
despair. ‘Why are you letting HIM do this to you?’.
Her grip on the cup slowly loosened, almost unnoticeable, until its crisp crack on the
tile, broke the deafening silence within her, reminding Amy that this was no longer
something she could ignore.
A thousand thoughts began to flutter through her mind like a cloud of rabid bats in
the night. The most piercing thoughts of all, were the memories she had so obviously
overlooked before. Up until this point, Amy had spent a great deal of her 7 years,
willing to forgive, forget, ignore, look past, and even PRETEND for the sake of Derek’s
feelings, and the relationship, that everything could, and would work out.
But who was she fooling now? She had taken a beating of 7 intense, long, and utterly
emotionally grueling years with this guy, and it was pretty clear that he didn’t even
want to be with her, the way she deserved.
If anything, it was now starting to become clear, that Amy had become Derek’s door
mat, and she wasn’t even his first,or second choice!
The night before, Amy had answered her phone as usual, ready to talk to Derek, ask
him how his day was, and hopefully, if he wasn’t tired, she might have time to
emotionally unwind in his comfort.
But Derek, being as typically disappointing as he was, decided to drop another
bombshell on Amy.
He didn’t even waste any time in explaining to her, how the night before, he was
sitting down with his mother, when she had asked him “Do you really see yourself
spending the next 25 years with Amy? I mean, that’s a whole lifetime.”
“Heck No!”, he had replied so heartlessly.
What made it even worse, was the fact that Derek felt it was a good idea to share this
information with Amy. What he forgot to realize, however, was the fact that he had
just single handedly crushed her entire universe, with one simple statement.
The words replayed in Amy’s mind like fiery daggers piercing her senses a thousand
‘Heck…no?’, she murmured to herself.
‘No?’, she thought, as the answer began to become frighteningly clear.
‘NO?! What does he mean…no?!’,she wondered as reality began to crash through
every dream she had ever built up around Derek.
She found herself lost for words, as she heard Derek ask “Amy…you there? Amy? Did
you hang up? Can you hear me? I think the call is cutting out…”.
She let the phone drop onto the floor, as she quickly raced toward her bed, panic
setting in. Within a matter of only a few seconds, she found herself gasping for air, as
she cried for life to show her some kind of mercy, only to anxiously be met with the
coldness of the silent walls surrounding her.
Panic had quickly grabbed a hold of her like a crocodile hungry for his last meal. She
felt the grip of her pain tightening within her chest, as her tears began to burn down
her face at lightning speed. The truth was too hard for Amy to bear. She couldn’t do
She simply wasn’t cut out to face this kind of pain, this kind of loss….this kind of
rejection. This same man had spent years lying to her, leading her on, and telling her
everything she wanted to hear.
All of this time, spent, wasted on this man, only for him to come back and tell her that
she was some kind of “heck no” reality to him?!
Her entire world began to crumble right before her very eyes, as every memory began
to show its ugly face to her, with each new revelation cutting deep into her, harder
than the last.
She couldn’t help but siphon all of the confusion right out of her past, so that she
wouldn’t have to ever feel this stupid, this alone, or this heartbroken ever again. Amy
was determined to spend the next eternity, if that’s what it took, undoing everything
that Derek had so deceitfully made her believe in.
She wasn’t going to be that foolish woman anymore, who naively believed in empty
promises. She couldn’t afford to be taken for granted anymore, and she most certainly
wasn’t going to be his “last resort choice” either.
Truthfully, Amy was starting to lose hope. She had invested so much into this
relationship, and this man, but she was finding it hard to maintain any hope in a
future together anymore, even if she was working as hard as she could.
To add further confusion to the mix, only a few months prior she had recently found
explicit texts to other women, on his cell phone. It seemed that he was flirting with
anyone who even remotely resembled a female, and this too, while promising Amy for
5 years now, that he would marry her.
Amy felt so stupid, putting her faith and trust in a man who treated her like a
doormat. He didn’t love truly her, who was she kidding?He just loved himself, and in
fact he was the most selfish person she had ever come across!
He was just using her, and everybody but Amy, seemed to be able to see that. She
had tried hard to see him as the bad guy before, but then he’d always find a way to
apologize with those puppy dog eyes, or melt her heart again, with his smooth talking
Was he ever going to love her, the way she deserved?
Reality seemed to cut through her like a knife, so often now, that she’d find herself
feeling like a piece of glass being dropped…just shattering into a million tiny pieces,
unable to be put back together again.
Amy could have ANY guy, and yet here she was, emotionally strung, with the biggest
jerk ever. There was no way out, she felt. She was desperate at this point, but nothing
seemed to reach Derek.
Trying to explain how she felt, or what her needs were, to a guy like Derek was almost
like trying to explain quantum physics to a newborn baby…
Was it unrealistic of her to expect him to “get it”? Was she just being played for a
How could he tell her that he needed her, wanted her, and wanted to be with her…
and yet on the same breath ignore her phone calls for a whole month, and then when
he did talk to her again, he only managed to tell her how other women were
interested in him, and how he didn’t really know what he wanted?
She wasn’t a play toy. But somehow she had gotten caught up in the strings of this
love and relationship, and now he was her puppet master, stringing her along
whichever way he had wanted her to go.
Amy felt utterly alone, hopelessly trapped, and pathetically helpless. This was her life,
but she wasn’t even the main character anymore. Derek was.
Suddenly everything was about him….and he didn’t even seem to care how that
affected Amy, or what that meant for her. He’d go out, partying and drinking, without
a care in the world… and without even so much as a courtesy call to let her know
where he was.
Even more excruciating, for Amy, was the fact that she had been his girlfriend for 7
years, and yet she barely even knew who his friends were, or what they were like.
At least he had taken her to meet his mom, but he seemed to only ever do the right
thing, when he was facing an imminent loss. The first time she had threatened to
leave him, he seemed to jump quickly to fix the situation, taking her to meet his
mother, as some sort of desperate, “see, I am serious about you” maneuver.
She found herself, however, constantly asking why it was that she always had to go to
extremes, just to get him to do the right thing. If he really loved her, why did she
always have to threaten, play mind games, or argue with him, just to get him to listen
or treat her as she deserved?
It was all so confusing to Amy, as she began to feel more and more, that it was finally
time to call everything off with Derek. He was showing his true colors to her, time and
time again, and although she cared deeply for this man, and had invested every cent
of her being and soul into this relationship…he just simply did not want her.
When she thought about it, he simply wasn’t there for her either, in the relationship.
Emotionally, he was only available when it was convenient for him. Physically, he
seemed to only be present when the mood struck his fancy. All of it added up to a
feeling that she simply was dating the most selfish and useless man ever.
Amy could vividly recall the first time she knew that this wasn’t going to be an easy
relationship, with Derek. It was the first real argument they had ever had.
She had noticed that Derek would devote more time, to everything except her. It could
be family, friends, work, and even his video games… but it never seemed to really
matter WHAT it was, because it was really more about the fact that Derek would
prioritize everything but Amy, in his life.
It seemed that even doing laundry, was a worthy enough task, to do in lieu of
spending time with Amy. She had begun to notice that Derek had become an excuse
train, who always arrived on time to each station, wrought with excuses, all
conveniently bundled up just for her.
What had bothered her even more, was that he seemed to make the most useless
excuses to explain away, ‘why’ it was that he simply didn’t have time for her anymore.
Excuses like “I have laundry to do”, or “I’m playing my game, gotta go”, would pierce
through the phone, any time she remotely tried to get close to him again, and her
personal favorite: “I’m tired”.
This same man, would once stay up 24 hours, just to talk to her. This same man
would once drop everything, just to be around her as much as he could. This same
man once found her to be so addictive, that it was almost toxic. They wouldn’t sleep,
and sometimes they wouldn’t even eat, just staying up on the phone all day and
night, laughing, talking, and sharing everything.
Now, suddenly, Amy was backed into a corner of ultimate confusion, where she’d have
to constantly wonder ‘was it something I said?’, ‘maybe I did something?’, ‘maybe he’s
mad at me for something…”.
No clear answer would come though, and the further she tried to push him to find
answers, the more bizarre the excuses became.
“Oh, I forgot to charge my phone”, he’d say, and then he began to tell her this:
“Maybe you can do better.”
This wasn’t unusual behavior for Derek though, as he typically was wrought with
strange excuses, and he was one of the hardest guys to ‘get to know’ that Amy had
ever come across.
There was a time, when Amy had actually taken time off of work, and had spent days
cleaning her place, preparing for his arrival, and getting everything ready for him,
when magically, he was a no show. Thinking maybe he would come a day later, she
had waited patiently, only to finally end up calling him, asking him what he was doing.
“Just watching a movie…why?”…he had responded so non-chalantly. “Uh, is there
maybe something you are forgetting about?”, she had hinted. “Not that I know of”, he
had replied so carelessly.
What came next was certainly a storm of emotions that had been brewing from the
dark depths of Amy’s heart, as she cracked one argument after another, onto Derek’s
conscience, through the phone. How could he simply just forget, to meet his own
girlfriend, after she had waited, and had even spent money, to buy some romantic
food, and lingerie, as a surprise for Derek.
But this was exactly the kind of garbage that Derek would pull, and Amy had
thousands of examples, it seemed of things Derek always managed to do to her, that
drove her crazy.
What made it even worse, was that any time Amy pointed out his flaws, or tried to
directly confront him on his hurtful behavior, or distant emotional reality, he’d always
find ways to punish her. She could recall now, a time when they had gotten into a
massive argument, about him not committing or taking the relationship seriously.
The next thing she knew, he had hung up the call, and had even turned his phone off.
He ignored her for 3 days, when suddenly at 3 in the morning, she got a text with a
picture of another girl. The text had said “see. I already replaced you.”
The text, of course, was from Derek, and he immediately switched his phone back off,
so that she was unable to reply, respond, or even ask him what it meant.
He seemed to play mind games like that all of the time, or at least when he didn’t
want to take responsibility for his role in the relationship. Amy had later found out that
it was just a picture he had taken from Google, and even though it was nobody Derek
knew in person, it still stung her to think about the fact that he could be so hurtful,
and careless toward her.
It seemed that he took her for granted, and worse; he didn’t even appreciate her,
where it mattered.
The harshest example Amy had of this reality, was when she accidentally and
unexpectedly became pregnant.
Even though she had taken great care not to freak him out with this sudden event,
Derek had bailed, leaving her absolutely devastated, to deal with a pregnancy and a
breakup all at once, and all alone. To make matters worse, Amy had lost the baby only
a month into the pregnancy, and was forced to deal with a grueling, and
heartbreaking miscarriage all alone.
Conveniently, Derek had reappeared 3 months later, almost intuitively coming back
when the coast was clear. And even though Derek had so selfishly run off right when
Amy had needed him most, she didn’t exactly hold any ill will toward him.
This didn’t mean that Amy was not hurt, after all, she was deeply scarred and
traumatized, because Derek had made her feel abandoned, alone, and rejected,
however she also knew that this child was unplanned, and she understood that Derek,
was simply immature.
But even with this realization, and with quite a bit of apologizing and begging from
Derek’s end, Amy had decided to take him back.
She did not make or take the decision lightly, however. Derek had even begged,
pleaded, and promised to do the right thing from hereon out. He had pressured her
extensively with promises to change, to be a better man, commit properly, and to give
more to Amy and the relationship.
Though he couldn’t take back the past, Amy felt that it was at least worth it to try,
after spending months alone, stuck with the solitude of her pain, torn with a secret
that she had been unable to tell anyone.
She had found relief in the fact that she could now share her pain, and that she could
release the demon inside of her, in the safety of Derek’s comfort.
The miscarriage had to be kept a secret, at the time, because Derek had bailed, and
the idea of dealing with such a shocking and disappointing breakup, plus trying to tell
her family that she was pregnant with her now ex-boyfriend’s baby, would have been
too much. Amy had felt completely closed in, as she found herself unable to confess
to her family, and even her best friends, about the pregnancy.
She had felt even more shattered and traumatized when she suddenly suffered a very
intense miscarriage. How could she have told her family or friends now?
She felt trapped within the ultimate emotional prison, unable to release anything, that
was, until Derek had returned.
Things had gone well for a while, but it didn’t take long for Derek to head back into
his typical behaviors, mannerisms, and habits. He had even begun to start pointing
out Amy’s physical flaws, telling her that she looked fatter, letting her know that a
wrinkle had appeared on her face, asking her to dress sexier, and telling her that she
was sometimes boring.
Amy tried to be patient, understanding, and helpful toward Derek but she had finally
reached her last straw, with Derek’s “heck no” phone call.
Making matters more urgent, was the fact that Amy was once again pregnant. Only
this time, she wasn’t even going to bother telling him. She had decided that it was her
responsibility, and her reality to deal with solely by herself, this time around.
She wasn’t going to try to convince him to stay around. She wasn’t going to beg,
plead, walk on egg shells, nor was she going to try to change herself in 20 different
ways just to try and reach him. She wasn’t going to even try and reason with him at
all this time around, and she for certain wasn’t going to be sucked into his mind
games, or depressing rejection mood swings. This time, she was simply going to get
serious enough for the both of them.
She was going to give him an ultimatum, that she finally was going to keep.
Derek had been promising her marriage, a life together, children, and the works for
years…. But for 7 years now, he hadn’t even remotely fulfilled one of his promises,
had hadn’t even come close to fulfilling anything that Amy now saw as simply Derek’s
Words were not enough this time around. She was pregnant again, and she knew that
she genuinely wanted a family, and marriage, and a life. But maybe Derek was just
not going to be that guy. Maybe he really was just a waste of time, and Amy was
going to have to move on to create her own life, and make her dreams come true for
herself… instead of sitting around relying on Derek to do that for her.
But, it wasn’t going to be that simple. As much as Amy wanted to make a clean cut,
she was still harboring a child that had an uncertain future, and the least Amy could
do was try just one more time, to try and help her child have Derek as a father figure
in the future.
But there was a huge problem again… Derek just wasn’t THAT kind of a guy. Or
maybe he was?
Even more strange, was the fact than a strongly eerie thought kept creeping up in
Amy’s mind. Even though she had decided that she was going to push Derek to either
be the man he wanted to be, or to leave for good… for some reason a very strange,
and absurd memory kept on coming to the surface, that made Amy feel like she might
not be able to.
For the longest time she didn’t understand what it meant, but it was the kind of
thought that would not let Amy relax. She had been trying to suppress, forget, and
bury this memory for ages now, and it seemed that the more she tried to do that, the
harder it bubbled back up to the surface.
It was one of the most depressing, shocking, and hurtful things Amy had ever
experienced, but the more she tried to avoid it, the more it pulled her, and the more it
kept begging her to look at it.
The memory had kept punching at her conscious hard, for days now, almost as if it
were trying to force her to look at it…until finally, Amy decided to consider it again.
Although it was painful, she allowed the memory to flow through and replay again, in
her mind. At first she felt hurt, thinking of the circumstance over again.
A whirlwind of emotions overtook her; first a burst of anger fired through her body, as
she began asking herself why this had even happened to her. She didn’t deserve this,
she reminded herself, adamantly.
Shame thenpoured through her veins, as doubt began to crush her own reassurance.
Maybe it was her fault? Maybe she just wasn’t good enough?
The uncertainty still dug deep into her core, as it seemed no answer was good enough
to explain what had happened. Was there any reason, that could be forgiven,
understood, or accepted?
Could she ever get past this?
This idea quickly exploded into another strong realization, that, NO, she WAS good
enough, and in fact she was the best, and she deserved better.
But then another piercing question broke through… if I deserve better, how come I
can’t get better?
A feeling of betrayal began to creep into her mind, as she began to feel contempt.
How could he do this to me? Her heart sobbed, as the memory replayed again, and
again in her mind, this time allowing her to finally grieve the event.
Only a year prior, after being with Derek for 6 years, she had temporarily moved to
another city, to help her company set up another branch. Derek, had reassured Amy,
that he would wait, and that he still wanted to be with her. He promised to remain her
boyfriend, and had said all kinds of hopeful things to Amy, that made her feel secure
in her decision to leave for a short period.
Derek had promised to still talk to her, everyday, but as time went on, Amy noticed
that Derek had begun spewing his robotic excuses again. “Oh, I didn’t charge my
phone”, he’d say, or the same lame excuse as before… “I have laundry to do”, would
echo through the phone.
She was only gone for three months, but somehow in that time-frame, Derek had
managed to begin dating another woman, and of course, he had done this all without
Not knowing what was really going on, and feeling Derek pull away, distancing himself
more and more from her everyday, Amy had begun to panic.
Stupidly, she had begun to question herself, her choice to temporarily move, and
everything else when she found that he had suddenly grown distant. He no longer
eagerly returned her calls. He no longer answered her text messages.
Her insecurities grew, as she found herself unable to explain, or reason with his
sudden change in behavior. He had even begun to grow snarky toward her, and had
begun blaming her for all kinds of things, seemingly out of nowhere.
She felt as if he was blaming her, for leaving… but it wasn’t even a permanent thing.
She had only left, after talking it over with him thoroughly, and agreeing together, that
it would be a good career move, to help her company advance their outlets.
Now all of a sudden, it was a bad idea?
None of it made any sense. Every day she’d push Derek for even just an ounce of
explanation, but the harder she tried to push him, the more he withdrew, until one
day, he began to make a looming suggestion.
“Maybe you deserve some one better. I don’t think I can be what you need.” He had
dropped this statement like a bombshell, out of nowhere. He refused to explain it,
either, opting to tell Amy again that he had to go, leaving her alone to deal with the
confusing reality that Derek was now presenting.
Was it something she had done?
Was it because she moved?
Did she say something wrong?
No answer seemed to fill the void that his sudden change in attitude toward her, had
Then out of nowhere, Derek left her a text message saying “Just wanted to let you
know that we are through. Don’t try to call me. I am sorry”.
At first Amy was uncertain if Derek was serious. She called his phone, but it was
turned off. Over the period of the next week, she had begun to realize that he had
been more than serious, as he kept his phone turned off, for the first time ever, for an
Trying to reach his family proved equally difficult as well, as she struggled to get even
a grain of reason for his sudden abandonment yet again. She felt beyond frustrated,
because Derek knew that she wouldn’t be able to leave her city to come back and see
him in person for at least another month.
She was stuck with no answers, no reasons, and a broken heart yet again, and this
time she couldn’t even attempt to mend it.
Two more weeks of agonizing depression set into Amy like a wildfire, until suddenly
one day she noticed that she had an email from him. She quickly opened it up, eager
to find some kind of answer, or explanation.
In the email he detailed how he had secretly begun dating another woman, while Amy
was away. Her heart ached, and a new terror of sadness swept through her veins, as
she realized that this was more than a breakup. He had completely betrayed her.
More details revealed an even more intense reality, as Derek went on to explain how
great he had felt this woman was, how happy he had felt around her, and how
addictive it felt, after Amy had left him all alone, to go work in some other city.
He clarified that he hadn’t felt he was doing anything wrong either, because of the fact
that Amy and him had not been “too serious” anyway.
At this point Amy felt like leaving her job, the city, and everything just to show up at
his door, to punch him in the gut… but then she realized that she still needed to hear
the rest. Even though she felt as if a speeding train had just bulldozed her entire wall
of security down, she had to continue.
The email continued on, to explain further that Derek, had felt so alive with this
woman again, that he did things he never ever thought he’d do. He had taken her out
dancing on numerous occasions. Yet he had never done that with Amy once. In fact,
he had always given her the excuse that he had a “bad back”, or that he had
Even more bizarre, was how Derek detailed sending this woman flowers. Amy knew
that Derek wasn’t exactly the best budgeter, with his money. He often couldn’t, or
wouldn’t, take care of his finances properly, and Amy was usually having to nag him,
help him, or drag him out of one financial crisis after another, because he often ended
up wasting his money on useless things, or got into debt.
But here, he had somehow managed to save some money, and then have some left
over for this new woman, to buy her flowers, some jewelry, and more. Each new
detail, as Amy read on, became more shocking, than the last, as he revealed all kinds
of vivid details that she couldn’t have ever imagined had been happening while she
was away, in her wildest of dreams.
What was even more bizarre, was that by the end of the email, he had made it clear
that this other woman had DUMPED him, and now he was heartbroken, and wanted
Amy back. Somehow this affair had taught Derek to understand or realize that Amy
was a valuable person in his life, but the only problem now, was that he was clearly
saying, she was number two in his life.
If he could have his way, he would take the other woman, over Amy. But this other
woman had dumped his sorry ass, and had kicked him to the curb. Amy felt stupid for
not having enough sense to do that ages ago herself, but now she was crushed in the
middle of an intense and long relationship with the guy, regardless of how she felt
now… she had already invested so much, there was no easy way out now.
By the time Amy had finished Derek’s novel of an email, she sat, flabbergasted,
uncertain anymore how to respond. She had wanted to get angry. But she could only
stare at the screen in utter disbelief. She had wanted to cry, but her eyes felt drier
If she could have screamed she would have too, but no sound came out.
A strange kind of numbness possessed her body, as if she had died, and had been
thrown into a cold, silent coffin.
Every being of her soul would have normally wanted to take all of this aggression out
on Derek, but even though she had just been dealt the most tragic, traumatizing, and
shocking blow ever… she oddly, felt no aggression toward him.
As much as she wanted to hate him, and bash his universe into a million tiny crushed
pieces, for some reason she couldn’t ignore one huge fault that might have actually
been her own, in all of this.
One aching thought kept creeping back up into Amy’s mind, as she began blaming
herself for everything. Why would he give this other woman the moon and the stars,
and yet the best that Amy had ever gotten from him was the excuse robot, version
Why would Derek buy this other woman flowers, take this other woman dancing, and
romance this other woman… and yet the most romantic thing Derek had ever done for
Amy, was take her to McDonald's. This was the only restaurant he had ever taken her
At the time Amy had accepted this, and she knew that it had sounded odd, even when
she tried explaining it to her girlfriends, but she had always accepted and understood
that a relationship with Derek had never meant a “glamorous and rich” lifestyle.
But this email was telling Amy a different story. The minute she left, he was suddenly
a changed man, doing all of the right things, save for having an affair, with this other
woman. He was saving his money, he was budgeting, he was romancing… everything
was finally right.
The only problem was that he did this with another woman, but would never do that
with Amy, even after stringing her along for years, telling her that he wanted to marry
her, be with her, and have children together.
This idea had crushed Amy so intensely that the only thing she could do was bury it,
in the deepest, darkest depths of her own despair. It had left her so emotionally
disabled, that she had no choice at the time.
Everything had been so shocking, so unbelievably damaging, and so irreparably
traumatizing, that the only thing left for her to do, to try and move on, was to avoid
the subject after that.
Derek, had taken this as Amy forgiving him, at the time, but she hadn’t exactly
forgiven him. She simply had lacked the capacity to face the truth.
But now as the memory burned through her conscious, tearing through her being with
all its force yet again, Amy was finally ready to let the sickening truth settle in.
Derek would do that for other women, but just not Amy.
Finally her emotional volcano within her was about to erupt, as this reality had been
boiling within her, for ages now.
Whose fault was this?
It would be easy to blame Derek for it all, and she knew that he was definitely wrong
for stringing her along, while trying to court, charm, and win over another woman.
Yet, a pressing realization was gripping Amy so powerfully, that even the fact that
Derek was wrong, was not enough to explain the REAL problem.
Was the problem simply the fact that Derek was a cold, and heartless bastard?
Was that it? Derek was just a complete jerk, done deal?
As much as she wanted to see Derek this way, for the sake of her own mental sanity,
the more she tried to peg him as the ultimate jerk, who wronged her in all ways
possible, the more she ultimately found herself unable to.
There was just one pressing thing that kept bubbling back up to the surface, that
prevented her from placing all of the blame on him.
Was it her fault?
This question always seemed to pierce through her desire to simply fault Derek for
everything that ever went wrong in their relationship.
The minute she had read the email from him the first time, guilt had began to settle
in, as she had begun to feel as if she had done something wrong to cause Derek to
feel as if he couldn’t be that kind of a romantic, caring, thoughtful, or considerate guy
He clearly had the capacity to become that guy, when under the right circumstances.
Was his relationship with Amy, simply the WRONG circumstances?
She knew that she’d have to throw her pride out the window, if she wanted to get any
real answers, so she put her ego aside and began to swallow each and every detail
from Derek’s old email all over again.
However, this time, she wasn’t looking for the same explanation, but she was actually
looking for a completely different explanation. As ridiculous as it sounded, she realized
that within this cryptic email, there was a solution to almost all of her entire
relationship problems, with Derek.
She was finally starting to see clarity in everything that had been so unclear before.
Derek would give the starts, moon, and Earth to this other woman.
This thought repeated in her mind as she read through the details of the email again.
How he met this other woman. Details and lists of things he had gone out of his way
to do. Explicit details of how he had felt about this woman, including a passionate
detailing of just how brilliant he felt this other woman was.
Then an explanation of his crushing disappointment, as this woman had suddenly
turned cold, and had rebuffed his affections.
Then, an admittance that he wanted Amy back, because this other woman had coldly
Normally all of these details would have been enough to drive a person to madness
and beyond, but Amy sat now, feeling calm as ever. None of these details bothered
her now, except for one remaining thing:
Derek would go out of his way to romance another woman, as long as he felt that the
circumstances were right.
That’s when it hit Amy, harder than anything had ever hit her in her life. This
realization came in like an asteroid in the night, lighting up the entire sky, breaking
through every being of existence.
Derek couldn’t be THAT guy around Amy, because she had been making it impossible
for him to do that.
She was always babying him. She would take him by the hand, and do everything for
him. If anything, he couldn’t love her, properly, because she was more like a mother to
him, than a girlfriend.
Sure he wanted to spend his life with her, sure he found comfort in her. Sure she was
GOOD at things, but she wasn’t the BEST at things.
This other woman had clearly come in, and had outdone Amy in all of the things that
mattered. It didn’t matter the way or reason Derek had come into contact with this
other woman, but what mattered was the fact that he did, because it revealed the
most mind blowing fact to Amy.
Derek had the capacity to do the right thing, say the right thing, be the right guy…. as
long as he felt that he COULD.
Sure, he could have ALWAYS done the right thing, if he really wanted to. But it wasn’t
that simple. Amy realized that she was often an intense person to be around. She did
realize that she was the nag queen, and her expectations were often unrealistic at
She had been expecting Derek to be her world. She wanted Derek to step up to the
plate, and be everything, and do everything for her…
She wanted her happily ever after, but without ever having to work for it. She wanted
him to come in and swoop her off her feet, for no other reason, except that he’d
massively love her, and would love everything about her too.
But this was the real world.
Happily ever afters, had to be made. They had to be worked at.
With this powerful realization live in her mind, she began to rip apart Derek’s email all
over again, this time looking to pin point and figure out, exactly what it was that this
woman was doing, that activated Derek’s love center.
She definitely knew that there were details that she was missing. The answers were
already there, and Derek had given her the entire window to see everything, she only
had to find them now.
As she picked through the email again, and again, and then again, each time, with
something new jumping out and hitting her on the head, with one massive realization
This woman, had been doing some very strategic things around Derek, to basically get
everything she had wanted from him. She had only been around him for a month, and
yet she had completely changed this man, without even knowing it, into a completely
Amy began to take notes, as one detail after another emerged, and eventually
everything added up. It was all simply clear now, and all of the dots were connected.
Although Amy could have easily given up on him, she still had one important reason to
try once more.
The fact that she was once again pregnant, meant that she really had no choice. It
was do or die, this time around. Either she was going to do what it took to help him
be the man he was supposed to be, or she could continue doing what she had always
done, only to get the same crappy results over and over again.
What had initially begun as a “last ditch” effort to try one more time, was now a
strategically planned out future, and Amy knew that either way, she’d finally have a
clear answer by the end of it. She knew that she’d no longer have to deal with
uncertain realities, or excuses from Derek.
With this method, she could get a very clear answer, one that he would never be able
to waver on, or ever sway from. This time around, she had the power to make him
choose an outcome that no longer involved dragging things out for years, wasting her
time, leaving her for other women, or thousands upon thousands of excuses.
She resolved that if there was any gear she had to be in, it was her “all the way” gear,
and she knew this time around that she couldn’t do anything like she would normally
do it. This time around she had to do everything differently, but with one huge
difference: she knew what to do now.
She began immediately applying everything she knew, covertly, choosing wisely, to
start with one thing at a time, scaling it up from there very quickly.
The first thing she did, shocked Derek into calling her like crazy, for an entire week.
Amy had felt an intense pressure to give in, and let him have his way, but she knew
that she had to take things even further.
She applied another method, which caused him to start sending her intense emails,
and even cards with hand written letters in them, explaining how sorry he was, and
detailing his exact plans to change.
But this wasn’t good enough for Amy. She needed more. Derek knew that she might
buckle under the pressure of his verbal promises, but this time he needed to make
sure that he took her seriously, and that he finally converted over into the man he
deserved to be, but moreover into the man Amy needed now.
As time passed on, she kept on scaling up the tactics and methods she applied to him,
each time carefully monitoring the results, so she could tweak her responses each
time to get an even better response from Derek.
In just a span of two weeks, she had completely transformed Derek from an excuse
train-wreck, into an action man. Now if he spoke to her, it was only about what was
being done and how. With no more “no’s” echoing through the phone, and no more
reasons as to why he couldn’t do something, Derek’s creativity was shining through.
He was now becoming the kind of man that Amy had always dreamed of having
around, but even more shocking, was the fact that he was surprising her, and proving
to her that there was more to him, than even she knew possible. He was a completely
new person almost, and what was even better, was that every day he began to THANK
Amy for the progress, and he began to show appreciation for all kinds of things, from
the everyday little things, to the bigger things.
For the first time ever, Amy began to feel appreciated, and she almost gave in again,
at the sweetness of it all, but knowing that giving up now meant that Derek could fall
back into his old habits, Amy persisted.
With her persistence, another change appeared. Derek was now filled with more ideas
than ever before, and had thousands of suggestions for her, on what to do, in his life,
in the relationship, and he had become enticingly romantic.
It took every fiber of Amy’s being to not give into him, especially when he was trying
this hard, but it was important that the changes stick this time. She couldn’t have him
doubting the relationship, his choice in having her as his woman, or anything else in
She needed him, to finally figure out, and know for himself this time around, that he is
in fact happy, that this is what he wanted, and that through Amy, he will have every
desire, wish, and need fulfilled.
It had only been a month since Amy had begun implementing everything she had
learned, and as time passed, she began to come up with her own tactics and
challenges for Derek to fulfill. But, in that timeframe, Derek was now attentive to her
needs, he listened, and he prioritized Amy above everything else for once.
She found him complimenting her in ways that were more genuine than ever. No
longer was he simply saying what she wanted to hear. Now he was being real with
her, now he was expressing things he had never really expressed before. He was
being 100% honest for once, and not even brutally honest, but simply the kind of
honesty that finally gave Amy the feedback she had always felt so desperate to get
out of him.
Now he was willing to open up to her, and let her know what his true insecurities and
fears were. She began to finally understand what had been holding Derek back
before. Now he was confiding in her, and more importantly, he was now beginning to
She hadn’t realized it before, but he clearly did not trust her, and he actually
confessed that he was afraid of Amy. Her reactions had made him afraid to open up,
afraid to be real, afraid to let her in.
Even more strange, was the realization Amy had, that even though the circumstances
upon which she learned how to finally REACH Derek were intense and painful, she
realized that it couldn’t have been any other way.
He had hurt her pretty badly, but it revealed so much to her, it had given her the key
to open the door finally. Had Derek never done that, Amy would have still been
struggling to reach him, she would have still been nagging him, arguing, and getting
mad over everything, just trying to get him to finally address at least one thing that
was going wrong.
But it was never just one thing, Amy realized. It was EVERYTHING that was always
going wrong, and that’s because she had never understood how to reach him. In the
past she would pressure him, to try and force him to say or do the right thing, that
she felt entitled to, or that she felt she deserved in the moment.
She now knew that this made him pull away, because as a man, he saw things
differently, felt things differently, and experienced things differently. She had made the
mistake of assuming that the way she wanted to be loved, was the same way that he
wanted to be loved. She now knew differently.
In fact, she knew so much now, because Derek was clearly communicating his needs,
for the first time, since they had met, and what made this even more absurd, was the
fact that they had been dating for 7 years!
She had no idea all of the things that were going on inside of Derek. She had no idea
that he had personal challenges, fears, insecurities that were completely outside of
her. She had always blamed herself or felt as if she was causing his withdrawals.
Suddenly he felt comfortable revealing that it wasn’t always her, and he began to
almost vomit out all of his secrets. It was as if he couldn’t get everything out fast
He had been holding everything in for so long, that everything came bursting through
at once. It was so intense, that they had even stayed up all night together, crying over
it all, listening to each other, and then they laughed, and joked.
It was as if the relationship had renewed itself. She finally felt herself healing, and
Derek even admitted that he was feeling more secure finally, about himself, and his
future. He didn’t feel the need to hurt her anymore, he admitted.
This revelation had shocked Amy, because she had no idea that her behavior was
pushing him to feel like he needed to react, but then he explained, that when she’d
attack him, his defenses would get up. To make himself feel better, he’d often go out
and do reckless things.
This was why he struggled so hard to save money, to be loyal, to commit… because
any time he tried, Amy would be pushing him away with another expectation, or
another demand, or she’d tell him that what he was doing was never enough.
Derek’s expression of this made Amy finally understand, that she had responsibilities
in the relationship too, and she knew now how to make things work.
Finally in a place of comfort, there were a few hard things left that she was going to
have to do, if she wanted to make all of the changes permanent. It was going to
cajole Derek harder than he had ever been tested, pushed, or challenged before, but
Amy knew that this was the final kick needed to ensure that everything she and Derek
had worked so hard at trying to fix in the past few months, was going to finally be
Derek was finally talking about a proper future together, a realistic one, one that
actually had a plan, with dates, and deadlines, a future that really was coming true.
But she now had to test him, and part of that meant being fair to him. This wasn’t
going to be easy for him either anymore, and she knew that he finally understood
that, and had accepted that, but now she needed him to prove that he could put
those intentions into action.
So, she decided, after a long time of waiting, and after holding off intimacy with him,
to reveal that once again she was pregnant. This time she was not going to sugar coat
it. She wasn’t going to offer him a way out either, in fact she wasn’t going to tell him
what to do, nor was she going to “offer” him a solution.
She was going to let him work for a solution, that he wanted, and she wasn’t going to
“hope” for him to do the right thing this time either. She decided to agree to meet him
finally, after restricting his ability to have access to her.
Derek had been asking her for weeks now, to agree to meet. But he wasn’t just asking
to meet, and Amy knew that. He was asking to take her out on a date, but Amy had
pushed him to step things up a notch, and had refused to go with his first, second, or
even third choice.
Finally he had come up with something that Amy thought was quite brilliant. He had
asked her to go out for a picnic, while offering to take her on a ride, with a two person
bicycle. They had never gone out together, just the two of them, without having to do
anything, except spend time together, as a couple.
This would be the first time they ever went somewhere, with the intention of simply
spending time on each other.
Previously, if Derek had taken her out, it was to eat, maybe at a fast food restaurant.
There was never any time then, to sit and just talk, and enjoy each other’s company.
Other times he did at least take her to see a movie, but the only problem was, that
they were always concentrating on the movie.
Derek had even one time, brushed her off in the movie theater, when she tried to
cuddle, saying “Don’t do that, I am actually paying attention to this part.”
But now, he had stepped up to the plate, finally offering her a chance to actually sit
down with him, and spend time, just the two of them alone, only on each other. Amy
had felt ecstatic, yet nervous, because she still had to test him, and reveal something
important to him.
She could only do it in person.
When she met in person, she was careful not to get too close to Derek. She didn’t
want to lead him on or give him false hope too soon either, that would have ruined
everything. She kept her distance, and made sure that the conversation stayed light.
But then the unexpected happened.
Derek had taken her down a pathway, on the two person bicycle, when suddenly he
complained of having leg cramps. She stopped, when Derek began to point out an off
trail pathway beside them. He reasoned that he had always wanted to go down them.
The next thing Amy knew, he was pulling her down the pathway, where what she saw
next shocked her. He had stuck pictures of them together all over the trees.
He had then begun to explain all kinds of things he had never revealed to her before.
Even though she had felt he was being extremely open before, since he had begun
changing, his new revelations completely blew everything else out of the water.
Now he was explaining to her how he had felt years ago, from when they first met, to
that time he got food poisoning and she took care of him in the hospital. There were
so many things she didn’t know about him.
She spent hours engulfed in his every word. All of this was so unexpected. Even more
shocking, was that he had stapled paper roses to a tree stump, and when he asked
her to take a look at them, there were notes inside each one, which he had written to
her, for every time they had been on a date.
Ecstatic, she had opened every one of them, glued to every word appearing before
her eyes. Everything was so intense, and so beautifully done, that she couldn’t help
but cry, laugh, and feel a roller-coaster of emotions.
Derek had never done anything this romantic ever before. He had clearly planned this
out very carefully, this time around, and all for her. He finally GOT it. He finally,
understood what he had to do, to take care of her.
Wrapped up in the moment, Amy had completely forgotten to tell Derek about the
pregnancy. He gave her no time to even speak, and had actually told her to wait to
say anything until after he had finished.
But now she was stuck in a huge dilemma. Should she ruin the moment with her
bombshell of a revelation?
Or should she just leave it for another day?
Before she could even react, Derek threw another emotional love act her way. The
next thing she knew, he was putting a beautiful gold necklace around her neck. He
began explaining how he had actually drawn the design himself, and had it specially
made, so that there would be no other necklace like it.
Amy wanted so desperately to just give in, and let everything happen. But guilt rose
over here like a plague rising up from deep within, as the looming thought stayed
fresh in her mind, that she still had to test him, and tell him about the pregnancy.
It was beyond important to do this, because so far all of Derek’s changes and actions
were only happening, because everything was going smoothly, mostly, and there really
wasn’t any direct obstacles or problems between them at the moment. The only
problem, was the need for both of them to change, to make things work, but Derek
had been more than fulfilling his half.
In fact, he had been going extremely out of his way for weeks now, to impress Amy,
and to prove to her that he was serious now.
But if she just accepted everything, when things were going smoothly, it would set
Derek up with the false idea that he shouldn’t also act this way when things are not
going well. She had no choice but to test him, if she wanted this relationship paradise
That’s when the unthinkable happened.
Derek had friskily begun getting pretty touchy-feely with her, when she felt his hand
go down the backside of her jeans pocket. She squirmed away, tauntingly yelling at
him, just to keep him in check, when the next thing she knew, he was suddenly
proposing to her.
But not just ANY proposal either. He was holding a picture in front of her, of when she
was sleeping, at his place. Clearly he had taken this and hadn’t told her about it.
He explained that he knew in that very moment, that he wanted Amy to be his wife,
and that he wanted to spend his life with her. He apologized for making Amy wait so
long for him to give her what she deserved, and then he asked her to marry him.
What made it even more difficult, was the fact that he actually started crying.
He was serious this time.
Her mind was screaming at her now, “What do I do? What do I do, dammit!?”.
This was unplanned. This was too soon. She couldn’t accept his proposal just yet.
She couldn’t say yes to something like that, and then dump a bombshell on him after,
just when she felt that she had secured him. That would ruin everything. It would
break the trust that Derek had built up with her too, to suddenly dump something like
that on him, especially since she had been keeping it a secret for quite some time as
All of her hard work would be gone, if she did that.
She had no choice now. Feeling pressured, and stuck, Amy did the only thing she
knew how to do in this moment. She gave the necklace back to him, and bailed.
She ran away as fast as she could, feeling childish, but she knew that she couldn’t
give him a chance to try and stop her, just yet. She was too emotionally weak now,
and she had to not give into him, no matter what, until it was 100% certain that the
changes were permanent this time.
She had been through too much, and had worked too hard over the years, to just stop
short of the ultimate goal.
This didn’t mean that it was easy for her, either, because the guilt tore through her
more intensely than anything else had ever ripped through her conscience before.
Never had she ever done something this cold, or this intense to anybody in her life.
Normally, she’d be chasing Derek around, madly, trying to get him to do the right
things. Normally she would have melted, and given in to something like this… and she
desperately wanted to, this time, especially with all of the changes Derek had gone
through with, for himself, and for their relationship recently.
But she knew she had no choice. Even though she left him hanging high and dry, she
knew that it simply just wasn’t fair, nor was it the right way to tell him about the baby,
under those circumstances.
Plus, she was still in the testing stages… and here Derek had jumped to an almost
extreme love proclamation. It was very clear that he was deeply and madly in love
with her now, so she knew he’d understand and that he’d be patient.
His phone call to her later that night, revealed that he understood. She couldn’t face
him, when he called, so she let it go through to voice-mail, where he revealed “Hey.
Look, I know that was pretty sudden, and I know that it’s asking a lot after everything
I have done. I will give you some space and time now, but just know that I am not
going anywhere. I know that I still have a lot of proving to do for you, before you trust
me enough to do that. When you’re ready I will be waiting to talk.”
She felt a little bit relieved.
It took her a week, before she event felt comfortable facing Derek again. She had
been too emotionally strung after everything that took place, to even remotely speak
to him without breaking down. She also wasn’t in a position just yet to explain to him,
why she was doing this.
She wouldn’t be able to do that, until he finally committed properly with his words,
intentions, and entire being to her. Thankfully, he was being awfully patient. The old
Derek would have bailed, but now she was dealing with a guy who literally sent her
flowers everyday, after she denied his proposal.
He was actually waiting for her to come to him, to learn what was wrong. He actually
wanted to know what was going on for once, and he was willing to wait it out, until
she was ready, to get that kind of an answer.
The entire week she ignored him, he left her voice-mails and texts, reminding her that
he is there to support her, and apologizing over and over for trying get her to commit
to him that heavily before he had proven himself more permanently.
Amy felt it was time now, to finally reveal the final test. Agreeing to meet for a coffee,
in the middle of the day, Amy finally revealed the only remaining wall resting between
their happiness, and future.
She was pregnant.
It was finally out there. She was careful to make it clear to Derek that this had been
true for some time, and that her decision was final, regardless of what he decided to
do. She then told him that she had to go, leaving him no room to ask any further
questions that might end up resulting in her giving him the answers to his own
This wasn’t his problem, it was hers. He could choose to support her and be a part of
it, or he could choose to leave. But she wasn’t going to mother him anymore into an
This time, she finally did the one thing she had never done before- she let him be a
man. A real man.
With that she left, again, this time, with a feeling of relief on her chest. They didn’t
talk about the proposal, but it was clear from his messages during the week, that he
understood that she couldn’t accept it at this time.
But now he knew why.
She was clear in letting him know that she couldn’t commit to him, with something
like that looming in the air, and only gave him one direct answer about the proposal.
She had told him that she would not be able to do anything like that, in the near
future, but that she wasn’t closed to it either. It just wasn’t the right time, given the
Surprisingly, over the next week, she found yet again, flowers delivered, this time with
balloons attached saying “congratulations”. He continued to call her, leaving voice mail
messages, and texts again, detailing his progress, explaining his feelings, and letting
her know that he was there.
She decided to leave it for another week. What would he do, if she didn’t respond?
Would he just give up? How committed was he this time?
But to her surprise, he continued. He set up plans to meet her again, this time trying
to impress her once again, and trying to tailor the circumstances of the “date” to
please her. She decided to give in, again, when he proposed another brilliant outing,
this time, to an observatory, so that they could see the stars together.
They spent the entire night there, staying up late together, laughing, holding hands,
Over a period of the next month, Derek made it clear that he wasn’t going anywhere,
and that this was his family. He changed companies and got a position as a manager
of a new company. He moved into a bigger place, and set up a nursery room.
One move Derek made after another, no matter what it was for, was now bigger,
better, and completely committed, toward the relationship and Amy.
She found that they barely even argued anymore, although they still had to be honest
and give critical feedback with one another, the difference was, that this time, they
actually ENJOYED arguing! As sick as it was for Amy to admit, even their arguments
were now almost perfect.
She had everything she had dreamed of now, and Derek’s was now taking long term
action to prove his loyalty, love, and desire to Amy.
With nothing left to do, but live happily ever after, Amy finally gave in to Derek. 6
months later, their first child was born, as Derek was there to cut the cord, in the
delivery room. He held his child for the first time, and thanked Amy for the beautiful
life she had given him.
He proposed again, in the delivery room, this time with a ring, in front of her family. In
fact he had asked her father for his daughters’ hand in marriage earlier, and her father
had obliged. She said yes this time, finally feeling an intense sense of relief, they could
live happily ever after, from hereon out.
They finally both knew what to do, but more importantly, they knew how to love each
other, in the most genuinely fulfilling, and everlasting way possible.
And so, Amy and Derek lived happily ever after.
Chapter 1: The “3 Keys”Formula
Amy’s story was intense, and I am sure that you are now wondering what exactly it is
that she did to get such a powerfully intense response of love and commitment from
Derek. There are three important things that had to happen, for Amy to achieve the
turnaround that she did, in her relationship.
The first thing, was a series of “aha” moments, that broke through all of the
misconceptions, incorrect conventional belief systems, and misleading conditioning
that had built up around Amy over the years.
The second thing, that had to happen, was the implementation of some very strategic
methods, tactics, guidelines, and rules, all of which were designed to give Amy the
most genuine happily ever after, that she could have ever hoped, or dreamed of
These two very important things are BOTH included, and addressed in this course,
and that’s exactly what this program is going to teach you. In this program, you will
learn exactly what it is that Amy did, but you will also learn exactly how she did it, so
that you can get similar, and even better results, in your own relationships with men.
So I would like you to use this program as a guide into creating your own personal
happily ever after, but I’d like to first let you in on a little secret.
The women who are the most successful, happy, and loved in their relationships, only
ever succeed if they implement both of the important things listed above, alongside
one final and compelling thing.
I will tell you what that final thing is, in just a little bit, but understand for now, that in
Amy’s story, she lacked the knowledge necessary to actually get her happily ever
after; and like most women, she worked hard to try and make things work out in her
love life, and yet no matter how hard she tried, everything always kept falling apart.
Unfortunately, Amy’s story is not unlike that of many other women out there. What
this ultimately means, is that even if you knew what to do, but you simply didn’t know
HOW to do it, because you lacked the knowledge, you are basically going to end up
stuck in a happily NEVER after. Now, I will explain a little bit later, about what a
happily never after is, but for now I want you to understand just one simple thing:
You must understand what you are doing, before you can do it… otherwise if you take
action without the knowledge that you actually need, you will end up getting
extremely bizarre, and even miserable results when it comes to your relationships and
To help give you some perspective, I want you to imagine that you were taught, for all
of your life, that in order to make chocolate, you need to use wood chips.
Now, let’s say that nobody ever told you, before this, that this was wrong, so you
whole-heartedly believe that this is exactly what chocolate is made of, and this is how
chocolate is made.
So let’s say that one day you decide to make a chocolate cake, and you throw in your
wood chips, under the belief that this is exactly what chocolate is, and you go about
baking your cake. Well, your oven starts on fire, and next thing you know, the whole
house is burnt down.
Now you are left standing there wondering what went wrong, more confused than
ever, and yet, you did everything right. Correct? Well at least to your knowledge, of
what you had been told your whole life, you actually did do everything right… only
what you were doing, wasn’t right.
This is the same dilemma that a lot of women face, when they are in their
relationships, and Amy, faced it too in hers. She had a lot of misinformation, and a lot
of conflicting ideas about what was actually true for her relationship, and true for
Derek, which meant that any time she took a step, or took action, she ended up
burning her own “relationship house” down.
Of course she didn’t intend that, but that’s what happens when you try to do
something, based on what you think you know, without ever knowing if what you
know is what actually NEEDS to be known.
The fact of the matter here is that chocolate is obviously not made with wood chips,
and your understanding of love, men, and relationships right now is at about the same
level, as a person who is trying to believe that chocolate is made of wood chips.
But it’s not your fault. Like I said, if you had grown up being told by everyone around
you, that wood chips really were chocolate, you’d have to believe, that yes, wood
chips are chocolate. That is, until, or unless you learn otherwise.
Well now is the time to learn otherwise, because I am going to break through some of
the lies and misconceptions that are getting in your way, when it comes to your love
life, starting right now.
So, here’s what’s going to happen. The first few sections of this program, are laid out
to give you the proper foundation to building, sustaining, and KEEPING your happily
ever after, in your love life. This has been strategically done, so that once you head
into the second section, containing all of the tactics and methods, you will only get
Now earlier, you might recall, that I mentioned Amy had to do three things, to achieve
the very same superior reality in her own love life, but I had only mentioned what two
of those things are. The first, was a series of “aha moments”, the second was a
strategic set of actions being taken and methods being used, but the third, and most
important thing that Amy did, was this:
She used DRAMA.
But this isn’t your everyday kind of drama, and you are going to learn as you go
through this program, exactly what this means, but for now, I want you to understand
ONE simple thing.
Without drama, you will end up with a happily never after. Yes, you read that
correctly… a happily NEVER after!
Let me explain why. You see, there is a simple formula, which when implemented,
makes it basically impossible for you to ever go wrong in your relationship, or to ever
fail with men ever again.
What is that formula?
It’s what I call, the “3 Keys” Formula, which is a combination of the 3 things that Amy
had to make happen, to achieve her happily ever after. The formula, is as follows:
Knowledge + Action + DRAMA = a Happily Ever After
In the first section, I am going to teach you about the first key, knowledge. In the
second half of the program, however, I will teach you about the second key, action.
But, infused into the entire program, is the final ‘key’, that I like to call the Drama
What exactly is the Drama Method?
The Drama Method is simply about infusing a positive level of necessary drama into
your relationship, to ultimately give your man the highest level of peak emotional
experiences around you.
As humans we are all creatures of emotions, and we are always on the lookout for a
good emotional deal. If we watch a movie, for example, we expect to feel good
emotions, while watching that movie. Likewise if we watch a thriller movie, we expect
to feel a roller-coaster of emotions, when viewing it as well.
We even expect most of our days to be good, and this even goes as far as even
expecting most of the people we speak to be good, because all we really want to feel,
is pleasurable emotional experiences.
Even when it comes to relationships, we only ever get into that relationship because
we felt good around that person to begin with, and thus we expect more of that in the
future. But we also get out of a relationship or breakup, when we STOP feeling good,
or when those emotions can no longer be maintained.
So in a nut shell it’s all an emotional transaction, where if we give somebody good
emotions, we expect a similar return. So, we use drama as a leveraging and power
tool here, to give the man peak emotional experiences.
You will learn more about how to do that in the coming chapters, but for now it’s
important to explain more about what exactly it is that I mean, when I say “drama”.